Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A "What's Really Going On" Post

Hey all! I realize that I have been doing a lot of only minimally personal postings lately, which are probably not all that entertaining. For those of you who read both Casey's blog and my own, I suspect inquiring minds are interested in life from my perspective, too. Hey - I get it - we all like good gossip, right? If you have hung in this long, which I know many of you have, you deserve to get some good stuff now and then!

I am still searching for a full-time job in the legal field - and the need for that to happen soon has increased because I was told last week my position is getting cut to half-time. (Oh, and by the way, we want you to keep doing all of your work you are currently doing.) It is time to leave the safe, comfy nest I have been in during law school and during this transition time, and find my new place in the working world.

The kids and I are doing well and we are mostly used to the new "visitation" schedule, but sometimes it is harder than others. They would like me there way more often than is realistic for a mom who no longer lives with them. I would love to see them everyday, but that is not possible. Casey and I are doing well as co-parents, and getting to a good place as friends, but it is better for us not to be together too much.....old patterns creep up way too easily and can harm the real progress we are making.

As some of you have discovered via Casey's blog or a few FB hints I have dropped, I am seeing someone, and have been for about two months. It is odd to be at this age, involved with someone, and seeking a label. It is too soon to use "partner," "lover" seems crass and limiting, and "girlfriend" seems too young and not encompassing enough, but that's what I will go with for now. So, yes, I have a new girlfriend. She lives across the country, but fortunately has both the means and a career that allows her to travel, so she has been able to visit me a number of times already. She gets along very well with the kids and they really like her, and she and Casey have gone out a couple of times to get to know each other. (Yes, that is a bit odd, but also very civilized and a great way to approach this for the kids. We are all adults and need to get along - showing respect is a minimal requirement, but if we can all actually enjoy each other's company, how wonderful will that be for the kids?! Thank you to Casey for being open about this!) For those of you quick to judge, or wonder about how we handle such things with the kids, I will say, we go slowly. We have introduced the concept of "dating," and of "girlfriend," and what those things mean and do not mean. Neither of us plans on parading a large set of women through their lives - and we are trying to balance their needs with our own realities.

What else? This Friday, I leave for a week in England! A good friend that I have known since 6th grade is getting married there and offered to pay for my trip. How could I turn down that kind of chance-of-a-lifetime trip? I am just starting to get excited. It doesn't seem real. Also, this is the first vacation I have ever had that I had no control over at all. I usually pick the destination, the hotels, the flight....all of that (with Casey's input, of course). Here, I am totally just along for the ride. We're going to London, a day trip to Paris, all sorts of fun planned!

So, though I am uneasy about my job situation, overall, I am optimistic and very happy in my life. Good things are coming, and good things are already here.

1 comment:

Proto Attorney said...

Sounds like things are going great! The new girlfriend sounds nice! And I'm sure you'll find your dream job now that you're really hitting the pavement to find it!

Dealing with the worst of humanity everyday, it's nice to see two divorced people getting along and being excellent co-parents. I had a client ask me yesterday if I ever see people who separate amicably and put aside hurt feelings to do what's best for the kids. If you decide to go into family law, you can serve as an example to your own clients!