Monday, October 31, 2011

Sneak Peak - Disneyland Trip 2011

Short post:
Trip was amazing! Disneyland done up for Halloween was beautiful. The kids had the time of their life! We created two roller coaster/thrill ride maniacs. We averaged walking 13 miles per day. A good time was had by all. 

We came back with colds - adults hit hardest - Ugh. 

So worth it.

One quick picture that I snagged from the Disney Photopass site:

There are about 700 photos on my computer I need to sort through, order, share...etc....

More to come!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Gearing Up to Go!

I got a text from Casey early this morning informing me that Kelton was awake at 4:30. Think he is excited? I had a mildly productive and short work day. Vicki is still scrambling to get all her work projects done, and could be working until late, which sucks. The kids do not know yet, but we are going to let them each pick out a new DS game tonight to help keep them entertained on the flight and during other non-Disney times. Almost time to go pick them up! California here we come!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Ready and Set!

Wow! When we wake up tomorrow morning, Vicki and I can check us all in for our flight! The kids are nearly all packed. Vicki and I spent time with multiple suitcases tonight trying to figure out how to best pack it all into the least amount of suitcases. We finally ended up with our two biggest suitcases, both of which are large enough to put Kaylen in, maybe even Kelton!

Last time Kaylen went to Disneyland, she was still pretty much in the stage of us using a  baby monitor with displaynow she is 6 1/2, going on 16, and ready to take on both parks, determined to see and do it all!  Her priorities are with all things princess-related, while still being eager for the thrill rides, like Splash Mountain.  Kelton is also very eager to ride everything that he was too afraid to try when he was 4.  As for Vicki and I, bring it all on! We are ready!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Bags are packed-ish

Kaylen is packed. Kelton, Vicki and I are not. However, the three of us are unlikely to need to be sure we have tights to go with the dresses, or a variety of outfits should we decide that one, or more, do not feel right that day.  Last weekened I got several small household chores done. The house is reasonably clean, though certainly does not appear that I hired durham house cleaning service to really make things sparkle.  Ah, for the days when Casey and I used to have a housekeeper come in once every two weeks to make things truly clean!  Don't worry, I am paying those fees back as part of my student loans every month! Ugh. 

So, where was I going with all this? Ah - yes - we are almost ready for our trip.  Packing is underway, tickets have arrived, house is clean, work is managed - and the timing is perfect as far as work deadlines and inspections, and we may even have time to sneak in a showing of The Little Mermaid. Vicki has never seen it, and I suspect neither kid remembers seeing it. Of course, Kelton doesn't want to, but will get into it once he stops complaining about watching a princess show....

Just two and a half more days! Yippeeee!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Gearing up for the Trip

The kids are so excited about our upcoming Disneyland trip. They are already so wound up that I'm not sure they will have anything left by the time our flight leaves Saturday morning - at 6:40am! Yikes! It seemed like a good idea at the time. :)

Of course, the kids are not the only ones who are excited! I may not have any energy left by Saturday either!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Weekend Report

It has been a really good weekend. It did not start that way. On Friday I had to have one of the cats that Casey and I had for 11 years put down. She had been sick on and off for a couple years, but in the past two weeks her health seriously declined and we knew it was close to the end. It is so hard to say goodbye to a family member like that. She was the not-so-bright but sweetest cat of the bunch. I am sure she is in a better place now, but she will be missed here.

On Saturday I got a lot of paperwork and small household tasks done. They really did not take up much time and it feels so good to have them done! I found a tv show on Netflix that I am really enjoying - Parenthood. Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls is in it, and I really enjoy her. Between reading the second of the Twilight series books and napping, I watched 5 or 6 episodes of this very real and heart-warming show.

Today Vicki came home. It was a long two weeks apart. She arrived mid-day and it was wonderful to be able to spend the afternoon catching up. I am very happy to have her home!

It seems to be bedtime. At this time next week, we will be in Disneyland! I am so excited!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


About a month ago a friend of mine informed me about her participation in nanowrimo.

"What?" Sounded like a medical trial.

Turns out it is short for National Novel Writing Month. Writers from all over the world take the month of November to pound out a 50,000 word novel. Last year there were over 200,000 participants.

This year, I will be one of them.

I have no idea how or when I will find the time, but I figure that once I put it out there, things will fall into place and it will happen. I have no real idea, no outline, no characters. So, guess I am all set! :)

Let the games begin!

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Kids are All Right - Rest of the Movie Not So Much

I always hope a good movie with lesbians as the main characters is going to hit the mainstream. I guess for now, just the fact there are sometimes any movies with lesbians characters out there will have to be enough. Asking for "good" is apparently too much. I just spent too much time watching "The Kids Are All Right," a movie about a two-mom family with teen-age kids, and what happens to them all when the kids decide they want to meet their donor. I understand now where the movie got its title. After thinking about all the main characters, about all you can really say is, the kids were all right. The moms were the most annoying lesbian couple ever. The donor was sort of interesting in a clueless sort of way. I will say that there are some truths sprinkled here and there. At the end, one of the moms in a pretty badly delivered speech says that marriage is hard and after a lot of years, you stop seeing each other. Yeah, that seemed about right. I don't think it has to be that way, but know the truth of how it can happen. The movie should have been slicker, faster, more elegant, but for all the flaws, especially the annoying stereo-typically over-processing lesbians, there are some things they got right. Silly family moments, sweet couple moments, accidentally slighted feelings. If this was ever a book, it was probably very good. Some things should remain only in print.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

BB Blues Haiku

Blackberry working
Won't have to smash it today
Can call loved ones - yeah!

OK, brilliant it is not, but it is 11:46 at night. How about this:

Cell phone miracle
BB is working fine now
Jealous of iPad?

I should get some sleep. :)

Friday, October 07, 2011

I Hate My BlackBerry

I have had my BlackBerry for a bit over a year. I used to love it. Well, I liked it a lot anyway. I LOVE my iPad - I love my iPad more than I EVER loved my BB.  What was my point?

Oh, right. I hate my BlackBerry. It is currently not working. I believe I can send and receive texts and calls. That is it. I cannot get into options to remove what I believe it causing the problem - their own friggin' bb messenger software - I cannot receive mail - I cannot look at Facebook - and I certainly cannot download the one simple ringtone I wanted, which caused all this mess in the first place.

This problem happened about a month back, too. Girlfriend was around and able to fix it - over the course of an hour or two.  She is out of town now....for another week.  Sprint basically will wipe my system, take at least three hours to do so, and probably charge me a lot for it.

As long as it still functions as a phone, I guess I can wait until Vicki returns to see if she can resolve the problem.  I have been told by a friend that my solution, which is throwing it out the window, is not a good one. Fine.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Passing along my Childhood

It is late now and I should get to sleep, however, I slept much of the day away in response to Day 3 of a bad headache. It is finally almost gone and I am feeling pretty good.

Tonight the kids and I went through boxes of things I had saved from my childhood and college years. We found old puppets I had made, my old ventriloquist friends, jokes, scripts, even a log of performances, some toys, books, jewelry... Tons of memories and the kids thoroughly enjoyed hearing about when I was a kid and trying out the toys and clothes. A bit of it made it's way into the house for future enjoyment, and most went back into the closet where it had been since before Casey and I bought the house from my mom. :). Once Vicki and I buy a house, all that old that old stuff can have a new home - but I suspect in the mean time, the kids will enjoy pulling me out to the garage to check out my boxes again. It was fun to share with them, especially since some of it I had saved for the "someday" when I had kids of my own. :)

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Brotherly Love

Kelton was utilizing his creativity on my iPad last night. The picture below is his finished product. I will say neither Casey nor I allows use of the word hate - but to see them together, his love for her is clear - so guess I just chalk this up to sibling rivalry and I will pretend I did not see it ( sitting in my photo album....).

Still - he figured out the app and it is a cute picture. :)

Living for the Now

I was thinking a bit more about yesterday's post on regret. I have noticed that for me, the things I maybe could regret or do regret are not things I actually would have done differently. I did what I thought was right at the time. With the benefits of hindsight and time there are things I might change.... But at those moments - I was doing what I thought must be done. Can we truly regret those actions or just wish circumstances would have been different?

This goes with the previous post about "what ifs. " I do not want to live always wondering what another path might have been like - would it have been better for the kids, or Casey, or me?

Without going into personal details that are not mine alone to share, we both did the best we could, and often, that was not enough. That was no way to live, or to be a partner, or to raise children. I hope we are doing it better now. Now is all we really have. To waste that would truly be something to regret.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Contemplations on Regret

I seem to be on a bit of a blogging roll, so feel compelled to stay with it, at least for a bit. Tonight I have been contemplating regret. I try to live a life without regret, but let's face it, we all do things we wish we had not done, or had done differently. I am no exception. I am thankful that there are very few things I truly wish I could go back and undo.

I am divorced, but I would not go back and not marry Casey. We had a good marriage for a long time. Maybe I would do things differently so they did not fall apart - but maybe it would not have mattered. Maybe our time together was destined to end so we could move on and experience other things in life. I regret how things ended, but not that they ever began.

I have lost years to complacency in jobs - before law school. Regret? Maybe a bit, but not much. I was living life and was satisfied. Could I have done more, been more career -oriented, sure. Would there have been value in that? Tough to say.

I could have made more of an effort to know my dad better. I did the best I knew how at the time but in hindsight, could have tried harder. I guess those parent- child relationships can be tricky to navigate no matter your age.

I lost a good friend to poor judgment in a time of turmoil. That's a big one. Short-sighted mistake with long- term consequences. On the other hand, maybe there are no mistakes. That path put me in direct alignment with so much that is good and beautiful in my life right now. Maybe there is a balance there. Without pain can we recognize pleasure? Without ugliness can we appreciate beauty?

I cannot undo the few regrets I have, but I can strive to live each day as true to my own ethics, ideals and passions as possible so that even when things don't turn out as I hope, I will know I did my best.

Monday, October 03, 2011

A Life Of Passion

Tonight a friend wrote about taking risks, creating the life she wants for herself and not coming to the end of her life only to see a long list of "what-ifs." I think many of us reach that point in their 40's, some later, maybe some can never face it. Maybe the challenge is too scary or the pain of not moving into dreams is not outweighed by the safety of their current lives.

As many of you know, the past several years for me were definitely not about staying stagnant. Was law school a midlife crisis of sorts? It was certainly not about becoming a lawyer. It was about bettering myself, moving forward, and breaking a career barrier that I kept bumping against. The other changes? Well, again, they were about moving forward in the best way I knew how at the time. I do not want to live a life of "what-ifs." I accept more challenges now than perhaps ever before - not crazy dares, but things that help me grow, learn, and might change my perspective.

As I read my friend's post, I thought, of course! I study the topic of consciously creating our lives all the time. There are a lot of people putting out great material about living a life of passion. Everyone has the right, and maybe even the obligation, to live as the best Self - the authentic Self - they can be. Anything else is to live a lie - at everyone's
expense. Would you rather know a shadow of a person, living a life she thinks she should, or feels she must because of X (fill in the blank), or someone filled with passion, taking risks, and living life to the fullest?

Yeah, me too.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Weekend Report - First Weekend in October

Peace is both the means and the end. "To what?" you might ask. If you have to ask, maybe you are not ready for the answer.

I am feeling good about this weekend! Vicki is away for two weeks at Tracker School, learning survival skills, Native American philosophies - physical and spiritual growth kinds of work.  I am engaging in my own forms of development, doing yoga, committing to finally moving forward with the mediation course I received as a gift (because there could not be any more signs appearing to me in my life telling me I need to start meditating), and working on my art and writing - or at least, taking steps in those directions.

I also went to a movie and had lunch with my Mom. Always good to spend time with Mom. Being an independent person, and very happy in my partner-relationship,  it can be easy to forget to spend time with family and friends, so I make conscious efforts to reach out to those I love. It is always worthwhile.

I am getting excited about our upcoming trip to Disneyland! At the Disney Store last weekend, Kaylen found a rolling carry-on with Disney princesses that she fell in love with and insists is exactly what she needs for the trip. I told her "no" on that one but that we would find something before our trip. As a surprise, I went back and got it today. It will be waiting for her in her room when she is over next weekend.  For Kelton, I got the monster-print backpack he had really wanted but had already bought a new one for school by the time we saw it.  This will be the first airplane ride either one of them really remembers, and I get that having a special bag is a part of the experience.  Part of the success of this 6-day adventure will be both Vicki and I remembering that this is all about the journey and not getting hung up on expecting specific experiences. Fortunately, we are both "journey" kinds of people, so I think this will not be too challenging. Oh, the point - the point is that the airport, and the airplane, and the bus to our hotel are all part of the fun.  It's not just about how quickly we can get into the park and how many times we can ride on Splash Mountain.

Tonight I will draw, eat ice cream, and finish watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Sounds like a good night to me!