Wednesday, July 09, 2008

"Just Moms" Seek More

As I've mentioned, we had friends visiting from out of town this past weekend. It was really nice to have so much interaction with other adults. On the rare occasion that Wife and I see other adults together, it is usually only for a couple hours at a family event, and doesn't resemble daily life since we are together to "do" something - like celebrate a birthday. These friends just came to our home to hang out - we sat, we talked, we interacted with the kids, we ate, we sat and talked some more. Low pressure - no expectations (Thanks D & L!) - just like daily life - only better because we didn't have to do our regular chores since we were entertaining guests :)

Wife and I noted that we barely have real friends anymore - she has play group and mom friends (and computer friends) and I have work and school friends, but they are really context specific, and not people we just hang out with on a Friday night. There are a lot of reasons for this, I suspect - partly, the kid factor, partly the lesbian factor, partly the being exhausted at the end of the week factor and partly the being social sounds like a lot of hassle factor (even though it is so well worth it). Besides, I suspect once we know people well enough, neither of us would mind if the house was not spotless and we didn't have proper food and beverage to offer. (OK, OK, so our house has not been spotless since....uh...probably 2002, before we moved in!)

We are a couple who has slipped into being "just moms," operating mostly on a functional basis that involves child care, dog care, house care....but guess what? We are actually well-rounded adult human beings! I know - crazy right? We have interests, thoughts, are capable of reading books, partaking in computer rentals, playing a rousing, drunken game of Pictionary or Cranium, and interacting with other adults. I think we have decided we should try out the whole well-rounded adult thing, which includes getting together with friends, more often. Heck, it might even be fun!

3 comments:

Lynilu said...

I believe kids are ultimately important, however ..... this post and the one about books strike me as being very indicative that you two are definitely not taking care of yourselves and reinforcing your bond as a couple. Remember, if you don't take care to keep yourselves healthy and happy in this way, you will actually have less to pass on the the kids. You can't give what you don't have!!! Start planning some time for adult relationship expansion and reinforcement!!!

Dakota said...

Thanks, Lynilu. You are absolutely right! In fact, we are hoping to connect with the kids' babysitter this week :)

Anonymous said...

I hate being forward (and rarely post anywhere) but...

I've been reading your blog for a few months because my husband and I are moving to Portland in the next few weeks, and I googled blogs of law students as I just recently graduated. We know no one there except his parents' friends. We aren't parents of human children or lesbians, but if you're looking to expand horizons, well, we'll be there.