Thursday, December 03, 2009

A Very Personal Post

Divorce is an ugly word. It's like cancer or malignancy. You can tell just by looking at the word, it's bad. According to a variety of sources, about half of all US marriages end in divorce. Sad statistic for what starts out as something so full of hope.

Many of you already know that Wife and I are getting a divorce. There, I said it. I have been avoiding the word because it sounds so harsh.

I won't be posting a lot of details here, but will continue posting about my journey through life. I know some people are already taking sides, assuming they know the full story, posting nasty messages on both of our blogs. Please know that neither of us wants that, and such messages will be deleted. No one fully understands what has happened in our relationship - not my friends, not her friends - and I know this because WE do not even fully understand.

Wife - Casey - has been posting messages that will make it clear this is more my decision than hers. Still, a relationship is always about the dynamics between two people. Please know that I am not taking the decision lightly, and this has been a long time coming. Casey is a loving, wonderful woman and a terrific mother. That is all I will say about our relationship.

We both hope that our loyal readers will continue to support each of us, and our amazing children. Thank you for all of your past love and support.

14 comments:

Lynilu said...

I do get it, Dakota. I hope that when the pain settles out a little bit, you two will find the kind of relationship that allows you to be friendly, to share the enjoyment and wonder of the children, and to respect each other enough to find a place of peace in your relationship for the sake of everyone in the family. It is hard, and you are both hurting, without a doubt. Even the one who makes the decision, the first move, is feeling a lot of pain. I know, been there.

Good luck to all four of you. My heart goes out to you and C in this, and I hope people realize that taking sides only makes it harder for you to resolve your situation.

blur_ said...

My thoughts are with you. I hope things go as smoothly as possible for both of you.

Heather said...

Sides are never a thing to do in this type of thing unless it is the kids side. There are always 3 sides to a story. I wish the two of you the best and hope everything turns out alright.

Mimi said...

I totally understand....been there done that......my heart was broken many years ago...the hurt will never go away but it will ease up...like you said we don't know the whole story and again there are three sides to every story yours, hers and the truth....just take it from me PLEASE don't hate each other.....only the children will get hurt....I know I HATE my ex with all of my being and you know what is it really worth it? oh well I can't go back just please the two of you please remean friends....hugs and kisses to the both of you and your children.

Anne Marie Segal said...

Hi, I just signed on your blog today for the first time. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing, and only you know if it's the right choice. Give yourself and your family whatever you need and don't worry--as it sounds you are not, stick with your guns--about what your readers think. Everyone who has been there knows how tough this all is, and the rest can mind their own business.
-Anne Marie

yankeegirl said...

my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Anonymous said...

Have been reading for awhile. I am so sorry sometimes people take the side of the one that feels left behind. But I get it as well. I agree with Lynilu completely. Hang in there.

Butterflyfish said...

I am so sorry. I wish you both and the kids well

just jenn said...

long time reader; never a commenter until now. my partner of 13 yrs left our failing relationship this summer. i'm still not sure where we are going to end up, but we are always going to be family. anyhow... the point is - and i might have one?! - be good to yourselves and each other. may your family find peace.

Caroline said...

I am so sorry Dakota. It sounds like you and Casey are trying really hard to make this as easy as it can be for the two of you as well as your kids. When Rosie and Kelly seperated I loved how they said, "We will always be family." I think that is how you and Casey will handle this...no matter what you guys will always be a family.

Hugs.

Jen said...

I'm just so sad about it -- for both of you, but obviously I empathize more with Casey in this situation because I know her better. However, I know she's never said a negative word about you to me, and that says a lot about the sort of person you are. Praying for comfort and wisdom for both of you.

nikk said...

Your friends are here for you Dakota - always.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you both. I am a long time reader of Casey's blog. I have always admired your family and I think you both are such loving and devoted parents. I hope none of that changes for the kids sake. I know you will both keep them in your focus as you go about figuring this thing out. Life is short and there is no time or need for hate and anger. You can love someone and have respect without being "with" them. I wish you both happy futures both apart from each other and together as you raise those precious, precious children! Blessings on you all.

Heidi P.

Proto Attorney said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. :( I can't even imagine what you all are going through right now. I just hope you can both find your way, and continue to be the best parents you can be.