Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Missing Comments

Hey all - many of you have posted comments, which are now moderated because a few people could not keep negative comments off of either Casey's or my blog. Trouble is, I thought they would come to my email to be moderated, but ends up I had to go looking for them. (Thanks for telling me about this, Casey.)

Anyway, I did not mean to ignore any of you. I am reading all comments and have released most. I really appreciate the support for our family that I feel in most of these messages. I get that some of you are angry with one or the other of us, and are taking sides. That is your choice, of course. I hope you have not fooled yourself into thinking you understand the full story. I do not say this to in any way blame Casey. I am saying, relationships are complicated and no one ever understands what goes on in a marriage except those who are in it. Sometimes, even we stumble through blindly.

Casey has posted much about her pain and the struggle our children are having. This makes it clear that this was ultimately my decision. Please know I do not take it lightly, and truly believe that Casey is a wonderful mother and has been a loving, dedicated partner. Sometimes, even really good people are not meant to be together forever.

Our focus is on trying to figure out next steps and how to nurture the children through this transition. This is certainly not what either of us had in mind when we decided to have children, and I hate that they will now be the children of divorced parents. It will be difficult and painful for all of us. Still, I believe Casey and I will find a way to make sure they know how much we both love them and want to be with them.

I know I indicated previously that I would not say much about what we are going through, but so many of you have followed our family for so long and have expressed your concern, that I thought it most respectful to say a bit more.

Thank you to all who support our family. It will not look the way it has previously, but we will always be a family; two mothers connected by two beautiful, loving human beings.


Mimi said...

Beautifully said!

Lynilu said...

It is too bad that you felt the needs to moderate comments or explain anything. Having been there myself, I know the decisions and the actions a couple must go through are.... well, they basically just suck. It's not fun. It certainly doesn't help anyone or anything to be criticized. As you said, only you two know, only you two can get through this, only you two can be there for the kids. I wish you both peace of heart through this process and as you forge a new life for the future. You're both good people. Good luck.

Stacey said...

I am a follower of Casey's blog and admit that I've come here to try and hear the other side of the story. The separation has come as a surprise to myself and so I guess I am trying to figure it all out for myself. Yes, relationships are hard, especially when you're parents. Good luck to you and Casey in figuring stuff out.

PT-LawMom said...

I haven't made it over here yet and I'm sorry for that but I wanted to let you know that I am so very sorry that you two are having to go through this. It's never as clear-cut as it seems to anyone on the outside and you owe no one explanations. (((HUGS)))