I'm a Lucky Non-Birth Mom
A friend of mine is a doula and she told me about a lesbian couple she is working with where the non-pregnant mom is feeling rather left out of the whole pregancy/mom-to-be process. My friend told her that she needs to be OK with grieving and feeling angry that she is not pregnant, because that is something she'd wanted for herself, so she is jealous of her partner's pregnancy. I never wanted to be pregnant. That's one count of luck. I married a woman who really wanted to be pregnant - another stroke of luck. Our friends, co-workers and family always treated us the same - as future mothers, and now, as a family.
I bonded with the babies while still in utero, talking to them and reading stories, and immediately after birth. They came out knowing my voice, and other than nursing, I was every bit as much a mother to them as their other mom, especially in the beginning, when I was able to stay home with the whole family. Now, of course, we have different roles within the family, but we are both definitely still MOMS (all caps - no denying it), just ask the kids!
Not giving birth myself was not the same as not sharing in the birth experience, and not sharing DNA with my kids does not make them any less mine. People see me with our kids and it is clear, I am Mom. I am very lucky, and I hope the couple I mentioned above and others like them, are able to get to the wonderful place that I am - 100% accepted as one of my kids' MOMS!
Showing posts with label lesbian moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lesbian moms. Show all posts
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Kids and Cooking
Wish I had pictures to share, but our sweet 2-year old daughter and I had a great time cooking dinner together last night. I plopped her on the counter and let her start making decisions and we talked about everything we were doing. She understands so much and can already talk so well, it was quite fun. At one point I started to use a bottle of Miracle Whip that hadn't been opened and I said, "Oh, man," somewhat frustrated that I would have to figure out how to get the little plastic seal off the bottle that was not coming off easily. She looked at me very seriously, cocking her head with curiosity, and asked, "Why Oh Man?" It was so cute. I explained and she seemed to understand, and she watched as I finally was able to grasp a small tab of the plastic seal and successfully peel it off of the bottle.
When we were almost done, our 5-year-old son came into the kitchen and made final decisions on what fruit we'd have, he took napkins, milk and pears for each of us to the table. He is getting to be such a good helper! Lately he's been loving to hear about when he was a little baby, and this week, after seeing a picture of this, I told him how we used to cook together. He would sit in his high chair as I'd explain everything I was doing while preparing dinner each night. So, there have been a lot of together cooking times this week. It's been fun, and something we rarely did while I was in school. Summer is good. I know my wife is enjoying the "together cooking time" as it gets the kids off of her for a bit when I first get home. So, it really is good for all of us!
Wish I had pictures to share, but our sweet 2-year old daughter and I had a great time cooking dinner together last night. I plopped her on the counter and let her start making decisions and we talked about everything we were doing. She understands so much and can already talk so well, it was quite fun. At one point I started to use a bottle of Miracle Whip that hadn't been opened and I said, "Oh, man," somewhat frustrated that I would have to figure out how to get the little plastic seal off the bottle that was not coming off easily. She looked at me very seriously, cocking her head with curiosity, and asked, "Why Oh Man?" It was so cute. I explained and she seemed to understand, and she watched as I finally was able to grasp a small tab of the plastic seal and successfully peel it off of the bottle.
When we were almost done, our 5-year-old son came into the kitchen and made final decisions on what fruit we'd have, he took napkins, milk and pears for each of us to the table. He is getting to be such a good helper! Lately he's been loving to hear about when he was a little baby, and this week, after seeing a picture of this, I told him how we used to cook together. He would sit in his high chair as I'd explain everything I was doing while preparing dinner each night. So, there have been a lot of together cooking times this week. It's been fun, and something we rarely did while I was in school. Summer is good. I know my wife is enjoying the "together cooking time" as it gets the kids off of her for a bit when I first get home. So, it really is good for all of us!
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Free Association...ramblings of my morning
So, this morning on the radio, I heard "Truly, Madly, Deeply" from Savage Garden, for some reason it reminded me of "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins. From time to time, I get obsessed with finding the version of her singing this song with Melissa Etheridge. In the past, no luck, but now, with YouTube and MySpace, I have found not just one but two videos! Now, I have to say, I am a huge Melissa fan, and Sophie just oozes sexuality, put these two together on stage and it should be burning up, and it is..but...not quite with the intensity I expected from only hearing the song without the visuals. My interpretation is that Melissa was holding back or is a bit more shy about sexual suggestiveness than Sophie. Sophie is, well, not shy on stage. Damn!
Anyway, enjoy: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2019118261
So, after this, I started looking at videos of Melissa, because, well, why not?
I found this great one she did where she talks about writing the song for Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. Personal, moving, relevant - gotta love this woman, and the message: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1108254241
So, that's been my morning (minus the part where I did actual work - yes, still employed - don't know a lot more about my job status, but it is looking good - more on that topic eventually). A fun way to start the day!
So, this morning on the radio, I heard "Truly, Madly, Deeply" from Savage Garden, for some reason it reminded me of "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" by Sophie B. Hawkins. From time to time, I get obsessed with finding the version of her singing this song with Melissa Etheridge. In the past, no luck, but now, with YouTube and MySpace, I have found not just one but two videos! Now, I have to say, I am a huge Melissa fan, and Sophie just oozes sexuality, put these two together on stage and it should be burning up, and it is..but...not quite with the intensity I expected from only hearing the song without the visuals. My interpretation is that Melissa was holding back or is a bit more shy about sexual suggestiveness than Sophie. Sophie is, well, not shy on stage. Damn!
Anyway, enjoy: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2019118261
So, after this, I started looking at videos of Melissa, because, well, why not?
I found this great one she did where she talks about writing the song for Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. Personal, moving, relevant - gotta love this woman, and the message: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1108254241
So, that's been my morning (minus the part where I did actual work - yes, still employed - don't know a lot more about my job status, but it is looking good - more on that topic eventually). A fun way to start the day!
Monday, January 22, 2007
The L Word - Now THAT'S Entertainment!
Does television entertainment get any better than The L Word? I think not. Last night was filled with classic L-Word goodness. I am sure there was a smile on my face just about the whole time. Papi – you are NO competition to Shane. Sorry, Babe. What a wonderful scene when Shane says – I didn’t know we were in competition, but you win, and gives her a killer smile and says it was nice to meet her. She is totally clueless as to who Papi is, and why should she care? She doesn't even recognize her own greatness or reputation. It's nothing to her. Alice – going after the older woman. Too fun! Anyone else notice Alice's new catch phrase "Really?" As in "Really, Papi, really?" She said it at least twice in last night's episode. Seems to be vying for a place next to Grey's Anatomy's "Seriously?" Alice does deliver the phrase nicely, the perfect blend of condescension and admiration. Bette’s TA – what a tramp! Could she look more like a slut? Is it any wonder that Bette showed no interest? (Well, right up until she decided to do her - mostly to shut her up, I think.) Also, how cute is Shane taking care of her little brother? Ah, I do love Sunday nights now.
On to other things:
So, as many of you know, the longed for snow arrived. For lots of fun pictures, see my partners blog. School was canceled two out of four days last week, so it was a slow ease back into the routine. This week will be my first full week back. Mixed emotions on this one. I think the classes are going to be fun (Well - still undecided about administrative law - which is how federal agencies are governed, run, where they get their power and such - could be really boring - but I think the prof. will do a decent job of making it as interesting as possible.), but I will miss the family. The kids and I will go four days and nights without seeing each other, unless the family comes to work to visit me for lunch. Seems like a long time.
This past weekend was spent getting my partner new glasses and entertaining the kids at the Lego Store. It was actually quite fun. Gotta love Legos, and both kids LOVED buying them by the piece. You can fill up a small container for $6.95. If you are super good during lunch, you get to go back and do it again!(Way to go, Son!) Little Girl likes the small Legos if a car is built out of them. She also got a Duplo Zoo pack so she could play with the animals. Duplos are the big Legos for little hands. Toys have to be one of the lesser talked about benefits of parenthood :)
Does television entertainment get any better than The L Word? I think not. Last night was filled with classic L-Word goodness. I am sure there was a smile on my face just about the whole time. Papi – you are NO competition to Shane. Sorry, Babe. What a wonderful scene when Shane says – I didn’t know we were in competition, but you win, and gives her a killer smile and says it was nice to meet her. She is totally clueless as to who Papi is, and why should she care? She doesn't even recognize her own greatness or reputation. It's nothing to her. Alice – going after the older woman. Too fun! Anyone else notice Alice's new catch phrase "Really?" As in "Really, Papi, really?" She said it at least twice in last night's episode. Seems to be vying for a place next to Grey's Anatomy's "Seriously?" Alice does deliver the phrase nicely, the perfect blend of condescension and admiration. Bette’s TA – what a tramp! Could she look more like a slut? Is it any wonder that Bette showed no interest? (Well, right up until she decided to do her - mostly to shut her up, I think.) Also, how cute is Shane taking care of her little brother? Ah, I do love Sunday nights now.
On to other things:
So, as many of you know, the longed for snow arrived. For lots of fun pictures, see my partners blog. School was canceled two out of four days last week, so it was a slow ease back into the routine. This week will be my first full week back. Mixed emotions on this one. I think the classes are going to be fun (Well - still undecided about administrative law - which is how federal agencies are governed, run, where they get their power and such - could be really boring - but I think the prof. will do a decent job of making it as interesting as possible.), but I will miss the family. The kids and I will go four days and nights without seeing each other, unless the family comes to work to visit me for lunch. Seems like a long time.
This past weekend was spent getting my partner new glasses and entertaining the kids at the Lego Store. It was actually quite fun. Gotta love Legos, and both kids LOVED buying them by the piece. You can fill up a small container for $6.95. If you are super good during lunch, you get to go back and do it again!(Way to go, Son!) Little Girl likes the small Legos if a car is built out of them. She also got a Duplo Zoo pack so she could play with the animals. Duplos are the big Legos for little hands. Toys have to be one of the lesser talked about benefits of parenthood :)
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