Thursday, November 16, 2006

So, now the real worries of parenting begin...

Today my wife dropped our son of for his second day of his twice-per-week, 90 minute preschool class. Tuesday he had a great time and was totally happy and geared up for a great day today. He barely said goodbye before running off to his cubby and his new buddy. 90 minutes later, my wife picks him up and he is in tears. He's a total wreck, melts down for almost half an hour screaming that he never wants to go back, and also upset about a pencil he lost. The student buddy said he didn't want to participate in the last part of class, which is the singing and dancing portion. She said he said he was tired. It would have been nice if she'd let him speak for himself.

Anyway, that is totally unlike him. He is Mr. Social and has been dancing since before he could walk. We don't know what happened. He says nothing happened, but something had to have happened. Whether someone just looked at him funny, or yelled at him, or he got a bad feeling from someone, or what, we don't know. His other mom already wrote to the teacher and she is going to talk to the student-teacher buddies (this is a high school program where the high school kids teach the preschoolers) and see if anyone knows anything about what might have upset him. He did say he is afraid the older kids might make fun of him. About what? About having two moms? He did say he didn't tell anyone last class because he didn't want them to make fun of him. No one ever has, and he's always proudly told any stranger that would listen, but I guess we've warned him it could happen. We told him he teacher (and hopefully the buddies) already know and it won't be a big deal. Is that what he is afraid of? Is our family structure already causing pain for our innocent, little four-year-old? Did someone say something? Maybe we should have met with all of the teens first to try to do some education and sensitivity training. I don't know if this has anything to do with that, but its hard to think that it is. He often tells strangers in the grocery store he has two moms and he is so proud of his family. I don't want that to change. I knew this would become an issue someday, but is that day already here?

OR - did someone make fun of his hair, or the way he said a word, or his artwork, or ANYTHING? Was it one of the teens or maybe another preschooler? What the h*ck happened? This is just the beginning of not knowing what goes on every minute of my child's life, and knowing he is with someone who will keep him safe and look out for his best interests. Until now, we've been able to control his world, or at least, have the illusion that we could control it. Now, the illusion is gone. Someone made my baby so sad, so upset, that he was in uncontrollable tears. He either won't tell us, or doesn't want to, or doesn't know himself why he was so upset. Either way, I don't like it.

Hopefully, we will learn more tomorrow. In the mean time, the teacher said he could have his Tuesday buddy again next time, and so our son has agreed he will go back to preschool. He really liked her. Thank God whatever happened is not as big as his fondness for his new buddy.


Katie said...

My nephew threw up (and then had to go home) pretty much every day for the first three weeks he was in daycare. Adjusting to a new situation can be very hard.

Holly said...

I think my nephew did the same thing and kicked and screamed back to school, then loved it again.
Hopefully, it was really a nothing that will be long forgotten.