Thursday, February 08, 2007

Baby Girl Turning Two
How can it be that the tiny baby struggling for breath in the nursery, screaming at the top of her lungs days later (because she could, I guess), falling asleep on my chest at night because her startle response was so severe that she'd wake herself up if we laid her down flat, is turning two? How can that tiny baby now be forming complex thoughts, simple sentences and carrying on complete conversations? I don't know how it can be, but it is. Baby Girl is turning two, and in just a couple months, her brother turns five. It hardly seems possible. Our little family of two has grown to a perfect-sized family of four. It's weird to think how two people can bring their lives together and consciously decide to make more people - make whole people from virtually nothing. How incredible is that? What I suppose is even more incredible is that we've done it as two women without the "involvement" of a man. We're participating in changing the definition of what a family is and what marriage is. We don't need the law to acknowledge that, we don't need right-wing Christians to approve of it, we're just doing it. It is. We're living our lives as best we can, struggling with the usual challenges of parenthood and life in general, and just being in this world because at some point many years ago two sets of two other people got together and decided to create more people. How cool is that?


Casey said...

It's very, very cool.

Though I still am firmly rooted in my denial that her birthday is coming up. It's been a wild two years with her, hasn't it? :)

Mieke said...

Our hypo for my legal writing class is about a gay couple who contracted with a woman to aid in the creation of and carry a baby. She did. They've raised the baby since it was born. One is the legal "natural" parent, the other has ZERO legal standing. I, cruelty of all cruelties, was assigned the A.G. side and have to argue why this second-parent adoption in the ficticious state of Westmoreland "must" not be granted. It's been agony to be fighting on that side. How do I tap into the passionate feelings needed to write a brief and argue it for Moot Court? I have found my way in in argueing only that limitations created by statute. Still...I hate my side.

I digress, the point is that I have been forced to do a ton of research on the topic of "second-parent" adoption. It's been FACINATING! 26 states now allow it. 3 by statute. 2 outright ban it.

Anyway, when I am done, if you're interested, I'll send it to you.

It's made me OUTRAGED at states like Florida. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. And more in love with California for its domestic partner registration and all the benefits that come with that.

What's the law in Oregon? I haven't come across any Oregon cases. Are you the legal parent of your children or a legal stranger? See. When I put it in those terms it infuritates me that ANYONE would dare jeapordize a child's security by passing statutes that ban it.


Congratulations on getting through the last two years of your youngest child's life. I speak from experience when I tell you that things get wildly more managable from here. Really.

LawSchool Mama said...

Thank you for all your supportive words! I am so sorry you have to argue THE WRONG side on the adoption issue. My only suggestion for you would be to really try to understand that side so in your real life you will be better able to counter it. We actually live in Washington. My partner has given birth to both of our children, we did the insemination using unknown donors, at home, and I have legally adopted both children. I even filed the paperwork and handled the second adoption "pro se." Saved big bucks! (Plus I was able to use the first set of paperwork as a guide!) Thank God we live in a fairly advanced state. I think we're not too far behind CA in getting better rights for same sex couples, but we're not there, yet. Most recently, in Anderson v. King County, we only lost a gay marriage challenge by 1 judge. Certainly we are hoping to get at least domestic partnership rights passed soon. (We have some rights in major cities, but not statewide.)

Good luck with your brief and oral argument!

LawSchool Mama said...
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LawSchool Mama said...

Mieke - yes, I would love to read your brief. I did my A paper last semester on how limiting marriage to opposite sex couples is denying civil rights to same sex couples. Fascinating stuff. Really makes me appreciate Con Law II, which I am now taking. (Hated Con Law I, by the way. So, if you are in the same position, Con Law II is WAY better.)