Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Wahoo! I made it through my first semester of law school! Naturally, everyone keeps asking, “How did you do?” and the real answer is that I won’t know until...well, I don’t know when. I’m assuming mid-January or so. There’s nothing I can do about it now, so no point in worrying about it. I felt good about my performance and don’t think there is anything I wish I’d done differently given my current information. Guess if I really blew my finals, I’ll have to rethink that statement - and my study methods!

Sometimes, I am still amazed that I am in law school. I like that feeling of wonder and respect for where I am in my life. For so many years it would have been much easier to go back to school, but I really did not have the interest or motivation. Now that I have the interest, and am perhaps motivated by the fact that I have a family and that I am rapidly approaching 40, it is less convenient than ever before. Ironic, isn’t it? Things come together, or fall apart, for a reason, and at the time that is meant to be, so I don’t question it too much. It’s kind of like being on a ride and just enjoying it, but at the same time, I know to a great extent, I am in charge of the ride and my ultimate destination. OR – MAYBE I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF MY ULTIMATE DESTINATION. What’s really at work here, free will – or something else? I don’t know, and it doesn’t even matter much right now. (Hmmm....is that a symptom of a brain-dead law student?)

I am enjoying spending time with my family. I just had three days off with no work and no school, then a “snow day” stuck at home, making it 4 days in a row that I was home with my wife and kids. It was so nice to have both kids asleep by 8:30 last night and to be at home. We watched a movie, mostly uninterrupted, other than my partner having to nurse the baby back to sleep a couple times. Poor baby is getting in her two top teeth and it seems to be quite painful. I am happy that as adults we do not remember the pain!

I have a feeling I will be at a bit of a loss trying to slow my life down after the Holidays. Right now, it is already slowing down, but we have the excitement of Christmas approaching, and needing to get last minute things done, wrapping, all of that stuff. Next week, I have most of the week off; we’ll do family stuff with my partner’s family, then back to work for two weeks before school starts again. I know the time will fly by...but still...anticipate the “let down” as I do not have to be “on top of my game.” I admit, that it is even harder work to be at home taking care of two little kids. Perhaps "slowing down" is not the correct term. Maybe mentally slowing down? I have the easy task of going to work and school and only being “mommy” part-time. What is really unfair to my partner is that even though she takes on the brunt of the childrearing responsibilities, I get to be the “fun mom” that the kids want to spend time with. Right now, she’s mostly OK with it, as it is allowing her lots of time to play with her new digital scrapbooking program that she got for her birthday (Happy Birthday, Honey!), but when we are out and about, it’s not that much fun for her when the kids just want me.

I see I am rambling. I will stop here with one last thought, “We made it through the first semester!!”


LawMom said...

Congratulations on being done! It's a good feeling, isn't it?

lawcrastinator said...

Have a great holiday! I am taking contracts on Thursday, woo hoo! Take care and see you next semester.