Oh my gosh, as my partner pointed out this past weekend, this is our last "normal" week before school starts. Next week we are on vacation, the following Thursday, a 2-day orientation to school starts, and Monday is the Big Day. What have I gotten us into?

I'm 39-years old. My partner and I have been together for over 11 years, and we have an amazing, funny 3-year-old son and a beautiful, happy 6-month old daughter. I go a a traditional job in an office 5 days a week, while my partner stays at home with the kids and does the real work. Life is good, but not all that easy as it is right now. Two kids are a real handful! It takes all the time and energy we have now to mostly keep up with the kids and the demands of daily life, with almost nothing left for each other, or ourselves. Now I throw in law school! In practical terms that means that 4 days/nights I leave the house before 6:00am and don't get home until after 10:00pm. Two of the remaining three days will be largely devoted to studying and homework. Sunday is intended to be family day.

I know my partner is really worried about how she is being turned into a single mom 4+ days a week. Talk about feeling you have no life! I'm worried about her, too. She is a great mom, but will need to get a break sometimes. I hope to help her plan how we can do that, between my family members, and activities we can sign the toddler up for, there must be some ways to save her sanity. We are both worried about how our 3-year old will handle me being away from home so much. He really looks forward to me coming home at 5:00 every day, and we spend the rest of his night playing or interacting on some level. I am generally the mom who gives him his bath and sits with him while he falls asleep. (That sounds like such a simple, peaceful process. It is neither!) As I have been told, kids are resilient and he will adjust. We will still have time together and will find other ways to communicate - like notes, phone, and email. The baby will probably not miss me much, which in itself is sad on some level, but will probably make for an easier adjustment for her.

Before I was accepted, and even after, I think, my partner and I talked about this being what is best for the family. It will be hard on all of us, but there will be good times, and in the end, it will be worth it. I have to believe that. She wanted me to defer for a year, but I was excited and wanted to go to school and everyone I talked to said not to defer. Most people who defer never go, because there is always some reason that "now" is not the right time. Also, the sooner I am done, the sooner I will be back with my family, and the shorter the kids' memory of when I was gone will be. I hope I've made the right decision.

I guess now we hang on tight and get ready for a wild ride.