Tonight a friend wrote about taking risks, creating the life she wants for herself and not coming to the end of her life only to see a long list of "what-ifs." I think many of us reach that point in their 40's, some later, maybe some can never face it. Maybe the challenge is too scary or the pain of not moving into dreams is not outweighed by the safety of their current lives.
As many of you know, the past several years for me were definitely not about staying stagnant. Was law school a midlife crisis of sorts? It was certainly not about becoming a lawyer. It was about bettering myself, moving forward, and breaking a career barrier that I kept bumping against. The other changes? Well, again, they were about moving forward in the best way I knew how at the time. I do not want to live a life of "what-ifs." I accept more challenges now than perhaps ever before - not crazy dares, but things that help me grow, learn, and might change my perspective.
As I read my friend's post, I thought, of course! I study the topic of consciously creating our lives all the time. There are a lot of people putting out great material about living a life of passion. Everyone has the right, and maybe even the obligation, to live as the best Self - the authentic Self - they can be. Anything else is to live a lie - at everyone's
expense. Would you rather know a shadow of a person, living a life she thinks she should, or feels she must because of X (fill in the blank), or someone filled with passion, taking risks, and living life to the fullest?
Yeah, me too.
3 comments:
I lived the "shoulds," or tried to, for many years. Now I live as much in the "Hell, Yeahs!!!!" it's a lot better here, and I like friends who aren't hung up in the pursuit of being perfection. Life is way too short to live without passion.
You wrote: "Would you rather know a shadow of a person, living a life she thinks she should, or feels she must because of X (fill in the blank), or someone filled with passion, taking risks, and living life to the fullest? "
This is interesting to me. I guess I would have to ask where it is someone else's place to judge if someone is a shadow of a person. Who are any of us to judge what someone else wants, believes or is passionate about? Just because it might not be something we deem as worthy does not in any way make it worthless to that person.
Now if you are speaking of someone who sits back and is clearly unhappy but doesn't take steps to create happiness for themselves and gripes about it constantly, that's different but if someone is living the life they want and are happy doing it, even if it falls outside our own personal belief of what we feel is best for someone, isn't that their call to make (and it is definitely not ours to make)? Maybe it isn't so much about the "safety of their current life" as it is about it is where they truly want to be. Perhaps for them it really is their dream come true and it fits them.
I don't begrduge tightrope walkers. I don't want it for my life but if it is what they want, more power to them. And the flip side is, another person's life choices, while not death defying, may be exactly what they want.
Judging others for their life choices is dangerous. It all goes back to the "Walk a mile in my shoes" adage.
Just my thoughts. Great post.
Thanks, Casey. I was actually thinking of those you describe as sitting back and are clearly unhappy but do nothing to change their situation. I understand that even those people have their reasons - fear, lack of knowledge, whatever - but I do think those people who have "come into their own power," in whatever they are passionate about are generally more interesting people to be around. I totally agree that it is unwise to judge others based on our own beliefs and desires. I just find it sad, and sometime frustrating when friends are involved, to see people not chase their dreams because they are trying to fit someone else's idea of what or how they should be.
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