Contemplations on Regret

I seem to be on a bit of a blogging roll, so feel compelled to stay with it, at least for a bit. Tonight I have been contemplating regret. I try to live a life without regret, but let's face it, we all do things we wish we had not done, or had done differently. I am no exception. I am thankful that there are very few things I truly wish I could go back and undo.

I am divorced, but I would not go back and not marry Casey. We had a good marriage for a long time. Maybe I would do things differently so they did not fall apart - but maybe it would not have mattered. Maybe our time together was destined to end so we could move on and experience other things in life. I regret how things ended, but not that they ever began.

I have lost years to complacency in jobs - before law school. Regret? Maybe a bit, but not much. I was living life and was satisfied. Could I have done more, been more career -oriented, sure. Would there have been value in that? Tough to say.

I could have made more of an effort to know my dad better. I did the best I knew how at the time but in hindsight, could have tried harder. I guess those parent- child relationships can be tricky to navigate no matter your age.

I lost a good friend to poor judgment in a time of turmoil. That's a big one. Short-sighted mistake with long- term consequences. On the other hand, maybe there are no mistakes. That path put me in direct alignment with so much that is good and beautiful in my life right now. Maybe there is a balance there. Without pain can we recognize pleasure? Without ugliness can we appreciate beauty?

I cannot undo the few regrets I have, but I can strive to live each day as true to my own ethics, ideals and passions as possible so that even when things don't turn out as I hope, I will know I did my best.