More Frightening than Young Lawyers
I mentioned a week or so ago that I was amazed that 24-year-olds will soon be released into the world as lawyers. Today, I found something more frightening.
I work on the campus of a major teaching hospital and university. Today I attended a Grand Rounds lecture on psychiatric consultations with attorneys on criminal cases. It was quite interesting, and the case highlighted was a death penalty case where attorneys came to psychiatrists for consultation prior to and during the sentencing phase of trial. The defendant's family had suffered horrible tragedies at the hands of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, and as a young child, so had he. There was a lot of evidence presented about abuse, low IQ, lack of proper parenting, poor language skills....etc. The psychiatrist was visibly impressed with what a wonderful job the attorneys had done at illustrating their client's history during trial and said that their level of detail was actually better than most medical reports. As a result, the client received life with no possibility of parole instead of the death penalty. What influenced the jury the most? The main items they pointed to were the horrors the family had suffered and the fact that they'd already had 5 children executed by the Khmer Rouge. This was a wonderful illustration of the powers of persuasion that we are learning about.
Another interesting note is that the speaker said he found attorneys who have sought him out for consultations are often more easy to work with and understand the nuances of cultural issues better than most medical personnel with whom he works. Interesting what that says about our respective fiels of medicine and law.
So, my actual point in all of this?
There were a lot of medical students at this presentation - students who already are treating patients. Some of them could not have been a day over 24. Now THAT is frightening.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Law School Prison Blues
Law school friends - you must check out Mother in Law's blog of March 14 for a great parody on Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues.
Enjoy!
Law school friends - you must check out Mother in Law's blog of March 14 for a great parody on Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues.
Enjoy!
Ewwww...need a shower now.
I just got done reading a posting from a fellow law student who found my blog, and so, I found hers.
If you are a member of the religious right or big fan of Jerry Falwell, well, not quite sure how you got to my blog in the first place, but let's just say that you won't be humored by the fact that I loved this post, despite it giving me the heebies:
http://zuskalaw.blogspot.com/2006/03/flip-flop-john-kerry-has-nothing-on-me.html
Happy Thursday!
I just got done reading a posting from a fellow law student who found my blog, and so, I found hers.
If you are a member of the religious right or big fan of Jerry Falwell, well, not quite sure how you got to my blog in the first place, but let's just say that you won't be humored by the fact that I loved this post, despite it giving me the heebies:
http://zuskalaw.blogspot.com/2006/03/flip-flop-john-kerry-has-nothing-on-me.html
Happy Thursday!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
A Frightening Reality
They let 24-year-olds be lawyers.
Really.
I just read a 24-year-old's blog and she's ordered her cap and gown.
Now, before you start in on me being some kind of age bigot, let me just say, that I bet most 24 year-olds about to graduate from law school are 1) really smart and 2) just as amazed as I am that they are about to be let loose as attorneys in the real world (after passing the dreaded bar, of course). I will likely be amazed when they let me loose, as well. (I'll beat my smartass classmates to the punch and say, "I know, you will be amazed, too.)
They let 24-year-olds be lawyers.
Really.
I just read a 24-year-old's blog and she's ordered her cap and gown.
Now, before you start in on me being some kind of age bigot, let me just say, that I bet most 24 year-olds about to graduate from law school are 1) really smart and 2) just as amazed as I am that they are about to be let loose as attorneys in the real world (after passing the dreaded bar, of course). I will likely be amazed when they let me loose, as well. (I'll beat my smartass classmates to the punch and say, "I know, you will be amazed, too.)
Monday, March 13, 2006
My Paper is Done and Other Random Thoughts
WAHOO - The Argument section of my Appellate Brief is done! This is really no major revelation or accomplishment, as it is due in about 3 hours, but still, I feel relieved to have it out of my hands until tomorrow when I go over it with our prof.
Next, practice Oral Argument on Friday. I am very mixed about this. My public speaking ability has gone downhill since the days when it used to be something at which I was quite good, and actually kind of liked. Guess that means the ability really is still there, it is just in a weakened state from lack of use, not unlike many of the muscles of my body. So far, my public expression in class, except when adding a bit of levity to the situation, has been less than impressive. So, four days before practice, and about a month before the "real thing" downtown.
OK - next random thought - a revelation of sorts:
If Barry Manilow did 80's rock, he'd sound a lot like the lead singer in 38 Special. I know - that's weird. I can explain how I got there, but I won't, but I bet the next time you hear, "Hold on Loosely," you'll think of Barry.
Another? OK.
You know when you are driving and you go a distance without consciously remembering doing it? I had a prof when I was an undergrad who explained that our subconscious mind takes care of us in such situations while our conscious mind is occupied with more important things, like wondering what we are going to make for dinner, or if we turned off the oven, or in his case, grading papers. (I kid you not. He READ OUR PAPERS while driving.) Anyway, so I was thinking this morning on my way to work, how did I know that I wasn't just killed in an accident and just believed I was still going about my merry way to work? My answer: If I was dead and my mind was just making up all this stuff, I would undoubtedly leave out the mundane details, like waiting for the bus, deleting my junk mail..etc. I am not detail-oriented enough to bother retaining trivial detail, clear down to walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and saying hi to someone I barely know. So, when I go to class tonight, assuming nothing happens between now and then, I will be alive, despite my quiet demeanor.
That is clearly enough for one day.
WAHOO - The Argument section of my Appellate Brief is done! This is really no major revelation or accomplishment, as it is due in about 3 hours, but still, I feel relieved to have it out of my hands until tomorrow when I go over it with our prof.
Next, practice Oral Argument on Friday. I am very mixed about this. My public speaking ability has gone downhill since the days when it used to be something at which I was quite good, and actually kind of liked. Guess that means the ability really is still there, it is just in a weakened state from lack of use, not unlike many of the muscles of my body. So far, my public expression in class, except when adding a bit of levity to the situation, has been less than impressive. So, four days before practice, and about a month before the "real thing" downtown.
OK - next random thought - a revelation of sorts:
If Barry Manilow did 80's rock, he'd sound a lot like the lead singer in 38 Special. I know - that's weird. I can explain how I got there, but I won't, but I bet the next time you hear, "Hold on Loosely," you'll think of Barry.
Another? OK.
You know when you are driving and you go a distance without consciously remembering doing it? I had a prof when I was an undergrad who explained that our subconscious mind takes care of us in such situations while our conscious mind is occupied with more important things, like wondering what we are going to make for dinner, or if we turned off the oven, or in his case, grading papers. (I kid you not. He READ OUR PAPERS while driving.) Anyway, so I was thinking this morning on my way to work, how did I know that I wasn't just killed in an accident and just believed I was still going about my merry way to work? My answer: If I was dead and my mind was just making up all this stuff, I would undoubtedly leave out the mundane details, like waiting for the bus, deleting my junk mail..etc. I am not detail-oriented enough to bother retaining trivial detail, clear down to walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and saying hi to someone I barely know. So, when I go to class tonight, assuming nothing happens between now and then, I will be alive, despite my quiet demeanor.
That is clearly enough for one day.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Reality on a Unicycle
Why is it that the majority of people, yours truly included, will conform with whatever norms society has set and live as if that is what life is supposed to be? That is really more rhetorical than anything. I imagine there are a myriad of psychological and sociological answers, including, it’s easy, provides public acceptance, blah, blah, blah. What if we didn’t buy the myth so readily?
I’ll start with something very common – work meetings.
What if everyone was really honest and said what was on their minds?
“I hate these things. I hate these people. I hate mornings. I should have had more coffee. Who’s bringing the coffee?”
“Brent’s tie is hideous, not unlike that report he sent out yesterday. What the hell was that?”
“We’d save a lot of time if we just make up the numbers. After we’re done crunching and managing, that’s all we’ve done anyway.”
“You just let me know when you are going to say something I should really be listening to.”
“She’s hot. I want to have sex with her, as long as she doesn’t talk. Talking would totally ruin it.”
OK, so maybe those are good reasons for conforming.
Seriously, though, how severely do we limit our experiences and the potential of our lives by buying into society’s norms, or even the laws of the physical universe? Can I break those? If I stop believing in gravity, will it stop believing in me? How much must we pass along to our children so that they can be a "success" in the "real world" and how much should we allow their own free spirits to soar? What if I wasn’t raised to believe that it’s desirable to get a good education, so I can get a “good” job, so I can buy a house, settle down, and raise a family? Whose fairy tale is that? What if I’d been raised to believe the most important thing in the world was being able to ride a unicycle everywhere I go, and that was the focus of my life? Happiness would depend on being able to navigate stairs while bouncing and balancing on one wheel. Hmmm...maybe not so very different from my life now, after all.
Why is it that the majority of people, yours truly included, will conform with whatever norms society has set and live as if that is what life is supposed to be? That is really more rhetorical than anything. I imagine there are a myriad of psychological and sociological answers, including, it’s easy, provides public acceptance, blah, blah, blah. What if we didn’t buy the myth so readily?
I’ll start with something very common – work meetings.
What if everyone was really honest and said what was on their minds?
“I hate these things. I hate these people. I hate mornings. I should have had more coffee. Who’s bringing the coffee?”
“Brent’s tie is hideous, not unlike that report he sent out yesterday. What the hell was that?”
“We’d save a lot of time if we just make up the numbers. After we’re done crunching and managing, that’s all we’ve done anyway.”
“You just let me know when you are going to say something I should really be listening to.”
“She’s hot. I want to have sex with her, as long as she doesn’t talk. Talking would totally ruin it.”
OK, so maybe those are good reasons for conforming.
Seriously, though, how severely do we limit our experiences and the potential of our lives by buying into society’s norms, or even the laws of the physical universe? Can I break those? If I stop believing in gravity, will it stop believing in me? How much must we pass along to our children so that they can be a "success" in the "real world" and how much should we allow their own free spirits to soar? What if I wasn’t raised to believe that it’s desirable to get a good education, so I can get a “good” job, so I can buy a house, settle down, and raise a family? Whose fairy tale is that? What if I’d been raised to believe the most important thing in the world was being able to ride a unicycle everywhere I go, and that was the focus of my life? Happiness would depend on being able to navigate stairs while bouncing and balancing on one wheel. Hmmm...maybe not so very different from my life now, after all.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Oregon Supreme Court in Action
You know those moments when you are in a situation but observing it, too? (Hadas will appreciate this post.) Standing in line, waiting to enter the Supreme Court / classroom today I had one of those moments. The Oregon Supreme Court held court on our campus today. Students, especially 1L's, were encouraged to attend. As I waited in line with many other students, hoping for a seat in the court room, rather than in the overflow area, I watched people and tried to figure out their reason for attending - some seemed to look at it as a just a good reason to skip regular classes with potential for socializing pre-and post-game. Others seemed quite serious, maybe hoping to someday be one of the attorneys arguing before the Court. Others, like me, were most likely in the middle somewhere. Most were dressed casually, but a few, particularly the "door guards" were dressed up. (Funny how some people "look" like lawyers and some just don't, even when dressed up.I know, I've been poisoned by too many media stereo-types.) Still, hanging out, looking at the crowd, it was strange to think that some day most of these people would be attorneys, all with different motivations, thoughts on life, and belief systems. I also realized that some will realize this is so not the profession for them. Interesting.
More interesting was being in the courtroom and realizing how easy it would be to do something inappropriate - like start asking questions out loud, or talking to my neighbor, or something...and I realize that I often have these thoughts in public arenas. (Though this one varied in that it did not occur to me to yell "fire," as it often does.) This would be a really bad way to start a career, and would probably actually end it before it ever really begins. Guess it is good I have impulse control. I then thought about the attorneys and Justices all joining in on a musical number (thank you, Hadas) and before I got far on that I was actually sucked into the details of the case, all thoughts of inappropriate behavior gone.
Witnessing the Oregon Supreme Court in action was interesting and highly recommended, especially if you are a law student. It's always nice to see what we are learning about in practice. I'm glad we had the opportunity presented to us in such a convenient manner.
Wow. I just reread this. How non-entertaining can I get? Quite, apparently. Still, it's written and I am going to subject my dear readers to it, because at least it is a post, and as was noted during February, I sometimes do not update frequently enough. So there.
You know those moments when you are in a situation but observing it, too? (Hadas will appreciate this post.) Standing in line, waiting to enter the Supreme Court / classroom today I had one of those moments. The Oregon Supreme Court held court on our campus today. Students, especially 1L's, were encouraged to attend. As I waited in line with many other students, hoping for a seat in the court room, rather than in the overflow area, I watched people and tried to figure out their reason for attending - some seemed to look at it as a just a good reason to skip regular classes with potential for socializing pre-and post-game. Others seemed quite serious, maybe hoping to someday be one of the attorneys arguing before the Court. Others, like me, were most likely in the middle somewhere. Most were dressed casually, but a few, particularly the "door guards" were dressed up. (Funny how some people "look" like lawyers and some just don't, even when dressed up.I know, I've been poisoned by too many media stereo-types.) Still, hanging out, looking at the crowd, it was strange to think that some day most of these people would be attorneys, all with different motivations, thoughts on life, and belief systems. I also realized that some will realize this is so not the profession for them. Interesting.
More interesting was being in the courtroom and realizing how easy it would be to do something inappropriate - like start asking questions out loud, or talking to my neighbor, or something...and I realize that I often have these thoughts in public arenas. (Though this one varied in that it did not occur to me to yell "fire," as it often does.) This would be a really bad way to start a career, and would probably actually end it before it ever really begins. Guess it is good I have impulse control. I then thought about the attorneys and Justices all joining in on a musical number (thank you, Hadas) and before I got far on that I was actually sucked into the details of the case, all thoughts of inappropriate behavior gone.
Witnessing the Oregon Supreme Court in action was interesting and highly recommended, especially if you are a law student. It's always nice to see what we are learning about in practice. I'm glad we had the opportunity presented to us in such a convenient manner.
Wow. I just reread this. How non-entertaining can I get? Quite, apparently. Still, it's written and I am going to subject my dear readers to it, because at least it is a post, and as was noted during February, I sometimes do not update frequently enough. So there.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
This is SO COOL:
There is this website business that will robot your website (or blog!) and make up a "word cloud" based on it. They then offer to sell you a T-shirt with the image on it. They do other cool things, too that I will have to go back and read about.
Check 'em out: http://www.snapshirts.com/custom.php
I started to order one of these shirts for my partner, based on her web site, but she has so many, figured it was a personal thing that she'd probably prefer to decide for herself. (Sorry, babe.) Besides, maybe she doesn't want people reading the fine print on her chest, as I, apparently, do *grin*. OK, well, I haven't ordered one yet, but I might! I really got a kick out of seeing the words that are so relevant to my life right now. Made me laugh to see "appellate" on there, actually "appellate argument." The word combinations are quite remarkable. By the way, if you aren't impressed with the first cloud, you can go back and try again, they seem to change a bit each time.
Thanks to LawMom for the link :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Baby Girl is Fine!
We are still awaiting official word tomorrow from the doc, but the echocardiogram technician said she did not see anything abnormal at all. That is exactly what the doc was expecting. So, we are breathing very heavy sighs of relief and thanking God that our baby is healthy!
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. This parenting thing is stressful!
We are still awaiting official word tomorrow from the doc, but the echocardiogram technician said she did not see anything abnormal at all. That is exactly what the doc was expecting. So, we are breathing very heavy sighs of relief and thanking God that our baby is healthy!
Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. This parenting thing is stressful!
Monday, February 27, 2006
The L Word Commentary
It's been quite some time since I mentioned The L Word, but trust me, it is not due to lack of interest. My partner and I eagerly anticipate and enjoy every quirky, dramatic and sexy moment of each delicious episode. As I have mentioned before, what's not to love? Great stories, wonderful acting, and hot women. One caveat to the "wonderful acting" comment - that applies to when they leave the acting to the actors and not to the celebrity guests. Let's just say the powers that be have proven their point of why we should let actors act and not hire someone to play a part just because she is a "real lesbian." I'd way rather watch a straight actor convincingly play a lesbian, than witness the pain of a celebrity lesbian non-actor trying to act, and then the real actors trying to respond. Ouch. Not fun for anyone.
That was not my point today. Here is my point:
Shane, babe, I feel your pain. I too have been in the position of being "in the sh*thouse", to quote your phrase, because of a dream my partner had. In fact, there was a time that I believe I'd established residency. I've definitely been in hot water a time or two for my behavior in my partner's dream, and no amount of denying that I'd done anything was going to get me out of the trouble I was in. Women! However, unlike your situation, I did not bring on the trouble by my own indiscretion. You knew you were going to have to pay for that amazing night out by the pool, right?
Gotta love that The L Word writers often bring in these amazing, strange bits of life and relationships so their viewers can really relate. Even though on some levels, the show is not realistic, on others, it is so much like real life, none of us would be surprised to find Shane and Alice having a drink at the local coffee house while Bette and Tina have an almost discreet argument outside. Characters can often be as "out there" on some level as a writer wants, as long as they have a few characteristics that keep them grounded and relatable.
Oh, and apparently last night's episode reminded the wife that I've not done anything bad in her dreams lately. I was able to recify that situation last night.
I suspect the dog will need to scoot over to make room for me tonight.
It's been quite some time since I mentioned The L Word, but trust me, it is not due to lack of interest. My partner and I eagerly anticipate and enjoy every quirky, dramatic and sexy moment of each delicious episode. As I have mentioned before, what's not to love? Great stories, wonderful acting, and hot women. One caveat to the "wonderful acting" comment - that applies to when they leave the acting to the actors and not to the celebrity guests. Let's just say the powers that be have proven their point of why we should let actors act and not hire someone to play a part just because she is a "real lesbian." I'd way rather watch a straight actor convincingly play a lesbian, than witness the pain of a celebrity lesbian non-actor trying to act, and then the real actors trying to respond. Ouch. Not fun for anyone.
That was not my point today. Here is my point:
Shane, babe, I feel your pain. I too have been in the position of being "in the sh*thouse", to quote your phrase, because of a dream my partner had. In fact, there was a time that I believe I'd established residency. I've definitely been in hot water a time or two for my behavior in my partner's dream, and no amount of denying that I'd done anything was going to get me out of the trouble I was in. Women! However, unlike your situation, I did not bring on the trouble by my own indiscretion. You knew you were going to have to pay for that amazing night out by the pool, right?
Gotta love that The L Word writers often bring in these amazing, strange bits of life and relationships so their viewers can really relate. Even though on some levels, the show is not realistic, on others, it is so much like real life, none of us would be surprised to find Shane and Alice having a drink at the local coffee house while Bette and Tina have an almost discreet argument outside. Characters can often be as "out there" on some level as a writer wants, as long as they have a few characteristics that keep them grounded and relatable.
Oh, and apparently last night's episode reminded the wife that I've not done anything bad in her dreams lately. I was able to recify that situation last night.
I suspect the dog will need to scoot over to make room for me tonight.
OK, so where's the camera?
This is one of those "punk'd" things right? By "this" I mean, my life. Or really, "our lives" meaning my partner's and mine, but again, my blog, so I'll try to avoid the appearance of schizophrenia (see previous blog) and write in the first person.
Last week we had to take baby girl to the cardiologist because the doc detected a heard murmur. OK, kinda scary, but murmurs happen and are generally no big deal. Doc says, these appear to be two (yes, not just one, but two) classic innocent infant murmurs. Seems good so far, then it comes....BUT...(wait, there was not supposed to be a BUT)....the EKG indicates that the left side of her heart is larger than the right. She'll need an ultrasound to measure everything and rule out any problems. What? No! Doc says she feels confident this is nothing to worry about, but has to check just to be sure. Great, so now, we've spent the last 3 days not talking much about it while visions of worst-possible scenarios wind through our imaginations. (Again, slipped out of first person.) The test is Tuesday, but no one will talk to us about it until the next day, when hopefully it will be a simple, "no problem" phone call. What I am afraid of is the phone call that says we really need to come in to talk to the doc. Doc was so confident this is nothing that she did not even want to schedule a follow-up appointment since there would be no reason. Wish we'd just scheduled one right after the ultrasound so we'd have an answer right away. This is all too scary. Now, the fact that our daughter has always panted a bit when nursing and after activity suddenly seems not just like an odd quirk that her brother did not have, but instead a SIGN that something is horribly wrong. As my partner pointed out, she has always seemed so strong and healthy, this could not be anything serious. OK, I'll cling to that hope. Please God, let this be nothing.
That's enough to worry about, especially on top of general stress in the family and relationship because of my school schedule, oh, and then there is school itself, but then we get a call from Western Union last night saying someone overseas is trying to use one of my credit cards. Ends up this someone has not only my credit card number, but also the three digit code from the back of the card, and my previous two addresses going back about 10 years. Fortunately, the criminal did not have my current address, or the whole thing might never have appeared suspicious. Card has been cancelled and we only have to have an affidavit notarized disclaiming under $150 of charges, but we wonder if this person has gotten access to any other of our cards, or opened up new ones in my name with my ssn. Guess I have to have my credit reports pulled and see if there is anything suspicious on them. Great. Yes, I wanted one more thing to have to deal with right now. How the heck am I supposed to calm my mind enough to focus on writing the appellate brief that is due in a month? Sure, I sort of managed an outline, but that did not consist of ....oh...what is the term...."sentences"? TRAC? What is that? Crap.
OK, everything is going to be fine. We're going to pull out of this quarter in wonderful shape all around, and then we are going to Disneyland!
Seriously. We've booked the trip.
YIPPEE!!
This is one of those "punk'd" things right? By "this" I mean, my life. Or really, "our lives" meaning my partner's and mine, but again, my blog, so I'll try to avoid the appearance of schizophrenia (see previous blog) and write in the first person.
Last week we had to take baby girl to the cardiologist because the doc detected a heard murmur. OK, kinda scary, but murmurs happen and are generally no big deal. Doc says, these appear to be two (yes, not just one, but two) classic innocent infant murmurs. Seems good so far, then it comes....BUT...(wait, there was not supposed to be a BUT)....the EKG indicates that the left side of her heart is larger than the right. She'll need an ultrasound to measure everything and rule out any problems. What? No! Doc says she feels confident this is nothing to worry about, but has to check just to be sure. Great, so now, we've spent the last 3 days not talking much about it while visions of worst-possible scenarios wind through our imaginations. (Again, slipped out of first person.) The test is Tuesday, but no one will talk to us about it until the next day, when hopefully it will be a simple, "no problem" phone call. What I am afraid of is the phone call that says we really need to come in to talk to the doc. Doc was so confident this is nothing that she did not even want to schedule a follow-up appointment since there would be no reason. Wish we'd just scheduled one right after the ultrasound so we'd have an answer right away. This is all too scary. Now, the fact that our daughter has always panted a bit when nursing and after activity suddenly seems not just like an odd quirk that her brother did not have, but instead a SIGN that something is horribly wrong. As my partner pointed out, she has always seemed so strong and healthy, this could not be anything serious. OK, I'll cling to that hope. Please God, let this be nothing.
That's enough to worry about, especially on top of general stress in the family and relationship because of my school schedule, oh, and then there is school itself, but then we get a call from Western Union last night saying someone overseas is trying to use one of my credit cards. Ends up this someone has not only my credit card number, but also the three digit code from the back of the card, and my previous two addresses going back about 10 years. Fortunately, the criminal did not have my current address, or the whole thing might never have appeared suspicious. Card has been cancelled and we only have to have an affidavit notarized disclaiming under $150 of charges, but we wonder if this person has gotten access to any other of our cards, or opened up new ones in my name with my ssn. Guess I have to have my credit reports pulled and see if there is anything suspicious on them. Great. Yes, I wanted one more thing to have to deal with right now. How the heck am I supposed to calm my mind enough to focus on writing the appellate brief that is due in a month? Sure, I sort of managed an outline, but that did not consist of ....oh...what is the term...."sentences"? TRAC? What is that? Crap.
OK, everything is going to be fine. We're going to pull out of this quarter in wonderful shape all around, and then we are going to Disneyland!
Seriously. We've booked the trip.
YIPPEE!!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Law School is Making Me Schizophrenic
(Or, as we discussed in Torts, is it really just bringing out a condition that would have eventually appeared anyway? Probably no matter since I signed up and paid the tuition, something tells me there will be no recovery on my part anyway.)
First, I will say, yes, I've been away for a while....sick kids, lots of school work to do, still am not where I'd like to be, but my head is above water, barely.
So, it feels like I have these three different lives, and sometimes I am able to happily function in all three independenly. That's when life is easiest. Other times, they insist on trying to co-mingle, and that's when it gets trickly. I've got my work and school personality. Confident, easy-going, low-stress, do what I need to do and move on. Personal life - more stressful since there is not enough time for wife and kids, they don't get what I do in school or what it's like (they could say the same about me, but this is my blog, so I get to say it), lots of rushing around, too much yelling, some very sweet times and laughter. Fantasy life - that's where I can go in my head where everything works according to my own script. I have all the time to do anything and everything I want to do. Money is not an issue. There are other elements to this I'll just leave to the reader's imagination, rather, MINE :).
Lately, I'd say the schizophrenia is being mainly caused by trying to maintain my personal life and my school life at the same time. The two are NOT playing nicely together. School me wants to learn all the stuff I need to learn, do all my homework, work on my outlines and read some supplemental materials so that I can make sense of Torts, where the professor seems to have stopped speaking English. Personal me needs to be with my kids who are missing me terribly and spend some time with and give a break to my wife, who is rapidly losing her mind due to being on-duty day and night with the little ones. (Try having your main source of conversation and daily interaction being a not-quite-four-year-old. Our son is very intelligent, but as I have to remember, preschool logic is not that of an adult, or even a 7-year-old. For instance, if a person was trying to pour water, or juice, from one container into another, and the receiving container started overflowing before the providing container was empty, one might expect that the pouring should stop. Not if you are a preschooler, evidently. Preschool logic dictates that pouring should not stop until the providing container has been emtpied of its contents. OK, then.)
All right, this was really started on Thursday and should have been posted then. It is now Monday morning. It's been a strange and stressful few days. I'm just going to call this good.
Happy Monday, folks.
-Dakota
(Or, as we discussed in Torts, is it really just bringing out a condition that would have eventually appeared anyway? Probably no matter since I signed up and paid the tuition, something tells me there will be no recovery on my part anyway.)
First, I will say, yes, I've been away for a while....sick kids, lots of school work to do, still am not where I'd like to be, but my head is above water, barely.
So, it feels like I have these three different lives, and sometimes I am able to happily function in all three independenly. That's when life is easiest. Other times, they insist on trying to co-mingle, and that's when it gets trickly. I've got my work and school personality. Confident, easy-going, low-stress, do what I need to do and move on. Personal life - more stressful since there is not enough time for wife and kids, they don't get what I do in school or what it's like (they could say the same about me, but this is my blog, so I get to say it), lots of rushing around, too much yelling, some very sweet times and laughter. Fantasy life - that's where I can go in my head where everything works according to my own script. I have all the time to do anything and everything I want to do. Money is not an issue. There are other elements to this I'll just leave to the reader's imagination, rather, MINE :).
Lately, I'd say the schizophrenia is being mainly caused by trying to maintain my personal life and my school life at the same time. The two are NOT playing nicely together. School me wants to learn all the stuff I need to learn, do all my homework, work on my outlines and read some supplemental materials so that I can make sense of Torts, where the professor seems to have stopped speaking English. Personal me needs to be with my kids who are missing me terribly and spend some time with and give a break to my wife, who is rapidly losing her mind due to being on-duty day and night with the little ones. (Try having your main source of conversation and daily interaction being a not-quite-four-year-old. Our son is very intelligent, but as I have to remember, preschool logic is not that of an adult, or even a 7-year-old. For instance, if a person was trying to pour water, or juice, from one container into another, and the receiving container started overflowing before the providing container was empty, one might expect that the pouring should stop. Not if you are a preschooler, evidently. Preschool logic dictates that pouring should not stop until the providing container has been emtpied of its contents. OK, then.)
All right, this was really started on Thursday and should have been posted then. It is now Monday morning. It's been a strange and stressful few days. I'm just going to call this good.
Happy Monday, folks.
-Dakota
Friday, February 03, 2006
The Guilt of an Evening Student
OK, so you want a taste of my life? Here's my partner's blog today (easily accessible over on the right):
-----------------------------------
...We have done 15 trillion activities but nothing for more than 5 minutes at a time. Let me tell you - that's a LOT of cleaning up and putting away.
I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm lonely (which is odd since I don't have 10 seconds to myself). I'm tired of hearing "MAMA!" screamed at me. I'm tired of hearing "I want a snack!" "MAAAAAMAAAAAA....you HAVE to!" "MAAAMAAAAAA....Come HERE!"
I'm tired of saying "Come here if you want to speak with me." "You just ate breakfast/lunch. You can have a snack in a couple hours." "Actually, I don't HAVE to do anything. I'm the parent."
And I'm so over the whining today. The fussing. The tears.
Have I mentioned lately that I haven't had a child-free moment to myself in weeks and weeks? Good thing nap time is coming.
---------------
What am I to do with this? Being a typical "man" (yes, I am a woman, but have been told that I often behave in a relationship as a man would), I want to solve this problem. Being a woman, I get to feel really guilty about it. I did "get us into this." In reality, there is nothing I can do. I am already more behind in class than I'd like. By that, I only mean that I am keeping up with the reading, but had no time for extras, and have not looked at the draft of my paper that needs lots of polish before Tuesday. I do not have time to come home and do chores, fix things, clean things, give my wife a break. I'd love to give her a break, but the reality is, if I do not devote tomorrow to school work, I will fall painfully behind. Sunday? Yes, on Sunday I can relieve her for a couple hours. Maybe it's time she take that night at The Heathman Lodge.
I know my wife balances her love of our children and her good fortune at being able to stay home with them with the need for a break and some time to herself.
I balance my desire/need for a law education with my responsibilities to my family now. Neither is a particularly enviable position.
Maybe if the sun would come out, this day would look brighter. Can you say Seasonal Affective Disorder?
OK, so you want a taste of my life? Here's my partner's blog today (easily accessible over on the right):
-----------------------------------
...We have done 15 trillion activities but nothing for more than 5 minutes at a time. Let me tell you - that's a LOT of cleaning up and putting away.
I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm lonely (which is odd since I don't have 10 seconds to myself). I'm tired of hearing "MAMA!" screamed at me. I'm tired of hearing "I want a snack!" "MAAAAAMAAAAAA....you HAVE to!" "MAAAMAAAAAA....Come HERE!"
I'm tired of saying "Come here if you want to speak with me." "You just ate breakfast/lunch. You can have a snack in a couple hours." "Actually, I don't HAVE to do anything. I'm the parent."
And I'm so over the whining today. The fussing. The tears.
Have I mentioned lately that I haven't had a child-free moment to myself in weeks and weeks? Good thing nap time is coming.
---------------
What am I to do with this? Being a typical "man" (yes, I am a woman, but have been told that I often behave in a relationship as a man would), I want to solve this problem. Being a woman, I get to feel really guilty about it. I did "get us into this." In reality, there is nothing I can do. I am already more behind in class than I'd like. By that, I only mean that I am keeping up with the reading, but had no time for extras, and have not looked at the draft of my paper that needs lots of polish before Tuesday. I do not have time to come home and do chores, fix things, clean things, give my wife a break. I'd love to give her a break, but the reality is, if I do not devote tomorrow to school work, I will fall painfully behind. Sunday? Yes, on Sunday I can relieve her for a couple hours. Maybe it's time she take that night at The Heathman Lodge.
I know my wife balances her love of our children and her good fortune at being able to stay home with them with the need for a break and some time to herself.
I balance my desire/need for a law education with my responsibilities to my family now. Neither is a particularly enviable position.
Maybe if the sun would come out, this day would look brighter. Can you say Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Thanks to all
I just wanted to say thank you to all of my classmates, friends and complete strangers who have expressed their sympathy and support over our daughter's frightening event last week. Thank God, all remains normal at our house, and we pray this was a one-time occurence. We still do not know for sure what happened. We've discovered some babies have sort of a syndrome of a reflex of holding their breath when a shock or trauma happens. Hmmmm "holding their breath" sounds so voluntary and like something you would see happening and could stop it....it's not like that. It's more like they just stop breathing. Well, as I said, we don't know, and don't want it to happen again in order to find out.
Mieke, who recently commented on this blog, in case you ever drop by again, I wanted to wish you luck getting into law school. You have to believe, whether or not you get in, that things will work out the way they are meant to. I am in an evening progam with mostly over 30-somethings, and a majority of us have kids. Yes, I believe in many ways those of us with little kids have it harder than those without kids. In addition to worrying about school work, and for most of us, a full-time day job, we're worried about our kids, and feeling guilty, on some level, that we are not with them. We know what we are doing is best for the family in the long run, but on a day-to-day basis, it can be hard to face. If you get in, and going to law school is what you want and need to do, you will make it work. You'll find creative ways of connecting with your kids, and the time you do spend with them will be so precious. Good luck!
A good topic - the ways having a family while in law school can be the most difficult part. This would have been so much easier to do as an early-to-mid twenty-something with no real responsibilities or commitments, yet. How stupid was I? Hey - think I'll wait until I'm almost forty, married and have two kids. That will be easier! Guess I'm not smart enough for the day program, right Hadas? Thank God for the "dumbed down" evening program. (For those not recognizing it, this last part has been sarcasm. Look it up.) When it all comes down to it, we've all got our own challenges to face, no matter where we are in life, or what our circumstances. Guess we all just need to remember that and pass out a few words of support or a smile to fellow classmates whenever we can. Who knows, it won't hurt us, and we might even make someone's day a little brighter.
Don't know how I ended up there. I better get to work!
I just wanted to say thank you to all of my classmates, friends and complete strangers who have expressed their sympathy and support over our daughter's frightening event last week. Thank God, all remains normal at our house, and we pray this was a one-time occurence. We still do not know for sure what happened. We've discovered some babies have sort of a syndrome of a reflex of holding their breath when a shock or trauma happens. Hmmmm "holding their breath" sounds so voluntary and like something you would see happening and could stop it....it's not like that. It's more like they just stop breathing. Well, as I said, we don't know, and don't want it to happen again in order to find out.
Mieke, who recently commented on this blog, in case you ever drop by again, I wanted to wish you luck getting into law school. You have to believe, whether or not you get in, that things will work out the way they are meant to. I am in an evening progam with mostly over 30-somethings, and a majority of us have kids. Yes, I believe in many ways those of us with little kids have it harder than those without kids. In addition to worrying about school work, and for most of us, a full-time day job, we're worried about our kids, and feeling guilty, on some level, that we are not with them. We know what we are doing is best for the family in the long run, but on a day-to-day basis, it can be hard to face. If you get in, and going to law school is what you want and need to do, you will make it work. You'll find creative ways of connecting with your kids, and the time you do spend with them will be so precious. Good luck!
A good topic - the ways having a family while in law school can be the most difficult part. This would have been so much easier to do as an early-to-mid twenty-something with no real responsibilities or commitments, yet. How stupid was I? Hey - think I'll wait until I'm almost forty, married and have two kids. That will be easier! Guess I'm not smart enough for the day program, right Hadas? Thank God for the "dumbed down" evening program. (For those not recognizing it, this last part has been sarcasm. Look it up.) When it all comes down to it, we've all got our own challenges to face, no matter where we are in life, or what our circumstances. Guess we all just need to remember that and pass out a few words of support or a smile to fellow classmates whenever we can. Who knows, it won't hurt us, and we might even make someone's day a little brighter.
Don't know how I ended up there. I better get to work!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
If Weak Appellate Brief is Written and There's No One Around to Read It, Does it Still Suck?
OK, so I finally have a decent draft done of our first appellate brief argument. I define "decent" here as meaning there are words that make up intelligible sentences filling up almost 4 pages and somewhere within them, were they to be finely honed, might be a scuplture of a fine argument, but right now, I fear, it is more in the rough stone stage.
This has been a frustrating exercise for me, as well as all of my fellow students I've spoken with about this project. We don't know what we are doing, how to approach it, or really what is expected of us. Our professor, not being an idiot, has probably designed the madness purposefully. Tonight's writing class should be interesting. We'll either find out we are almost on target, way off target, or we'll remain clueless. Have I covered the options fairly well?
Well, at least I can be happy that I have a draft to take to class, and still have two hours until the class begins. See, I did not push the limits of procrastination as far as I might have!
OK, so I finally have a decent draft done of our first appellate brief argument. I define "decent" here as meaning there are words that make up intelligible sentences filling up almost 4 pages and somewhere within them, were they to be finely honed, might be a scuplture of a fine argument, but right now, I fear, it is more in the rough stone stage.
This has been a frustrating exercise for me, as well as all of my fellow students I've spoken with about this project. We don't know what we are doing, how to approach it, or really what is expected of us. Our professor, not being an idiot, has probably designed the madness purposefully. Tonight's writing class should be interesting. We'll either find out we are almost on target, way off target, or we'll remain clueless. Have I covered the options fairly well?
Well, at least I can be happy that I have a draft to take to class, and still have two hours until the class begins. See, I did not push the limits of procrastination as far as I might have!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Finding my calling - getting a busy signal
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I was really put on this earth to do. For me, this is more of a practical question than a religious question, though I do not mean to imply practicality and spirituality are mutually exclusive. I suppose many of us traverse through life hoping to find the one thing that finally makes life CLICK into place. Thing is, I don’t think we can just hope to find it. I think for most of us, it is a treasure hunt that we must pursue with a virtual, if not actual, pirate ship, picks and shovels.
I have embarked upon this journey of education to become a lawyer. I have yet to discover the type of law I am most interested in, and that is one of my journeys without a map, and that is OK. I will get there. However, just “being a lawyer” is clearly not my calling. (This is where my partner freaks and yells, “What do you mean it’s not your calling? We’re not going $120K into debt for you to decide not to be a lawyer! *grin*) I think a lawyer is simply one facet of what I am meant to do, a piece of a more intricate puzzle. Maybe I will work for lesbian and gay rights, work to help animals, or who knows what when the pieces all come together.
I’ve found an interesting site: http://www.changingcourse.com/One among several of its sort, I am sure, that encourages people to find their true calling and live the life they dream of rather than settling for making a living and dreaming of having more. So, far, I’ve not purchased any of the author’s books yet, but the free newsletter archive and other info is really useful. It helps people, yes, even law students, to think outside the box.
See the kinds of things I think about when I should be working on the draft of our first persuasive paper that is due tomorrow? (Shout out to my classmate Hadas, who mentions being in a similar position as of early this morning.) Ah, procrastination as an art form...
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I was really put on this earth to do. For me, this is more of a practical question than a religious question, though I do not mean to imply practicality and spirituality are mutually exclusive. I suppose many of us traverse through life hoping to find the one thing that finally makes life CLICK into place. Thing is, I don’t think we can just hope to find it. I think for most of us, it is a treasure hunt that we must pursue with a virtual, if not actual, pirate ship, picks and shovels.
I have embarked upon this journey of education to become a lawyer. I have yet to discover the type of law I am most interested in, and that is one of my journeys without a map, and that is OK. I will get there. However, just “being a lawyer” is clearly not my calling. (This is where my partner freaks and yells, “What do you mean it’s not your calling? We’re not going $120K into debt for you to decide not to be a lawyer! *grin*) I think a lawyer is simply one facet of what I am meant to do, a piece of a more intricate puzzle. Maybe I will work for lesbian and gay rights, work to help animals, or who knows what when the pieces all come together.
I’ve found an interesting site: http://www.changingcourse.com/One among several of its sort, I am sure, that encourages people to find their true calling and live the life they dream of rather than settling for making a living and dreaming of having more. So, far, I’ve not purchased any of the author’s books yet, but the free newsletter archive and other info is really useful. It helps people, yes, even law students, to think outside the box.
See the kinds of things I think about when I should be working on the draft of our first persuasive paper that is due tomorrow? (Shout out to my classmate Hadas, who mentions being in a similar position as of early this morning.) Ah, procrastination as an art form...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Being a Mom is Terrifying.
We had a horrible scare Tuesday night. I got a call from my son saying something about blood and an ambulance had just arrived. (It ends up he was saying his sister turned blue; nothing about blood.) All is OK now. For details, see my partner's blog.
It was terrifying and horrible and THANK GOD all is good now. As I rushed to the clinic where my daughter was waiting to be seen (good that an ambulance was not needed), I realized this strange turn of events, which we were pretty sure was turning out OK, could mean the end of my second sememster of law school. Would there be long-term care and follow-up appointments needed? Could I catch up what I had missed? This meant I had now missed 2 of 3 nights of two different classes. Would I be able to focus and get engaged in the work? None of that really mattered. What mattered was that my daughter needed to be OK. Life and death situations sure have a way of smacking us into the reality of what is important.
We're holding our kids a little tighter and a little longer now. It's going to be a bit harder than it was not going home to them after work today, and for a while, I suspect. I sure hope, in the long run, this law school experience and the resultant degree, is worth all the sacrifices my whole family is making.
We had a horrible scare Tuesday night. I got a call from my son saying something about blood and an ambulance had just arrived. (It ends up he was saying his sister turned blue; nothing about blood.) All is OK now. For details, see my partner's blog.
It was terrifying and horrible and THANK GOD all is good now. As I rushed to the clinic where my daughter was waiting to be seen (good that an ambulance was not needed), I realized this strange turn of events, which we were pretty sure was turning out OK, could mean the end of my second sememster of law school. Would there be long-term care and follow-up appointments needed? Could I catch up what I had missed? This meant I had now missed 2 of 3 nights of two different classes. Would I be able to focus and get engaged in the work? None of that really mattered. What mattered was that my daughter needed to be OK. Life and death situations sure have a way of smacking us into the reality of what is important.
We're holding our kids a little tighter and a little longer now. It's going to be a bit harder than it was not going home to them after work today, and for a while, I suspect. I sure hope, in the long run, this law school experience and the resultant degree, is worth all the sacrifices my whole family is making.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Grades are out!
Second semester has officially started and I have 2 of my 3 grades, and one “credit” in a credit/no credit class. Suffice it to say that I’m not where I would most like to be, but I did OK anyway. My partner thinks I even did quite well. I am apparently an “average law student.” How about that? I, like most law students, have never been average before, but hey, put us in a room full of over-achievers and suddenly the standard is very different. It’s OK though. I have to admit, I agree that my knowledge of the subjects was not exceptional and I did not earn an “A’s.” Considering my full-time work status, my wife and kids, the small amount of time I can actually devote to studying, “average” is not so bad. I am hopeful I can occasionally rise to the top in a subject, but if I can maintain “average” status and not fall below, I will be happy. It’s like the old joke goes...
“What do they call a guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical school class?”
“Doctor.”
Chances are, most of us are going to come out of this experience and end up as gainfully employed attorneys, if that is what we choose, so, no worries. Not yet.
Happy Second Semester, my fellow 1Ls.
Second semester has officially started and I have 2 of my 3 grades, and one “credit” in a credit/no credit class. Suffice it to say that I’m not where I would most like to be, but I did OK anyway. My partner thinks I even did quite well. I am apparently an “average law student.” How about that? I, like most law students, have never been average before, but hey, put us in a room full of over-achievers and suddenly the standard is very different. It’s OK though. I have to admit, I agree that my knowledge of the subjects was not exceptional and I did not earn an “A’s.” Considering my full-time work status, my wife and kids, the small amount of time I can actually devote to studying, “average” is not so bad. I am hopeful I can occasionally rise to the top in a subject, but if I can maintain “average” status and not fall below, I will be happy. It’s like the old joke goes...
“What do they call a guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical school class?”
“Doctor.”
Chances are, most of us are going to come out of this experience and end up as gainfully employed attorneys, if that is what we choose, so, no worries. Not yet.
Happy Second Semester, my fellow 1Ls.
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