**hijacking the blog**

She said not to do this but since when have I listened to what I shouldn't do? :)

This is Casey, partner of the one and only Law School Mama. I'm interrupting your regularly scheduled blog to say:

Happy 40th Birthday, Dakota!!
We love you and would be lost without you.
Love,
Casey and the kids

Thought for the Day

Is it just me, or is it amusing that there is a class listed on the 3-year planing schedule listed as "BS Principles for Lawyers"?

(OK, so it probably really stands for "Basic", but I am amused nonetheless.)

The Finals are Coming! The Finals are Coming!

So, I’ve been a bit absent since finishing orals last week. Despite my assurances to the contrary, a good friend insists “orals” has something to do with sexual prowess and backs up her theory with the fact that "everyone knows lawyers are out to screw everyone. It’s just part of the training.” I’m leaving that one alone now.

BALANCE

It’s been a recurring theme all year for me. Not just me, but hey, it’s my blog. My “intro paper” for two of our classes last fall was a graphical depiction of the areas of my life that I’d need to balance over the next year. I’ve written about it a few times. I’ve managed balance sometimes better than others, with the overall feeling that nothing got as much attention as I wanted to give it, but I’ve somehow almost managed to survive my first year of law school with my life mostly intact.

This week, I am definitely out of balance, but with finals coming up, I know I am in good company. Hard to focus….mind wanders…much to study and yet, now seems like such a ripe time to be contemplating the future. What?! Student loan paperwork arrived. I can go another $35K in debt next year. At this rate, I will owe over $140K in student loans when I am done. If I am fortunate, and plan all of the “right” experiences and make some “good” connections, I will find a job shortly after graduation (or before) that will pay back the loans and keep my family in the lifestyle we currently have. Chances of any real net gain? Hmmm…..probably not high. A bit, I hope, but really, it can’t be all about the money. So, what is it about…..power, prestige, pretty initials after my name? Maybe it’s the experience, moving forward, a journey to a place I could never have gone before and now can, a feeling that this is the right direction and it really will pay off, both monetarily and in other ways. Yes, I guess that is it.

A friend of mine has a blog: The Journey. The title highlights that life really is more about the journey than the destination. We need to all make sure we are making the most of the journey and enjoying where we are while we are here. Ambitious in this fast-paced life we lead, but so important. Sometimes, I do a great job of it. Others, I see that I appreciate the theory more than the practice, and I have a short attention span for too much of almost anything. Maybe I am a product of too much network television (see "too much" is a theme cropping up), where a multitude of problems are tackled and resolved in 30-60 minutes, and next week, we’re on to something new and exciting. I’m not really going anywhere with this...just enjoying the scenery.

Orals Rocked!

Last night was the culmination of an entire semester, really, an entire year of Legal Writing and Analysis: our oral argument at the downtown courthouse. I remember in the Fall when our prof and TA were giving us an overview of the year they mentioned that in the Spring we'd be completing a 30+ page brief and then presenting it in an oral argument in front of judges at the courthouse, it seemed so remote and nearly impossible. (Thank God my brief writing was not filled with sentences resembling that last one.) We built our knowledge and confidence up along the way, and now, here we are: done.

I was not nearly as nervous as I was afraid I would be, and was happy with my performance. (That is what it is, when you get right down to it - a performance.) I got nailed with a very direct, confrontational question exactly two sentences into my introduction that I had spent days practicing. Still, I was able to answer the question, and all of the questions that were directed to me, and it was fun, partly because I KNEW the answers (Damn, our prof. was right, by the time we did orals, we really did know our case inside and out.), and partly because I remembered them under pressure. We all did well. I was impressed with and happy for my classmates and wished I could have heard more of them do their argument. Our judges asked tough questions, but they also threw us a lifeline now and then. You could tell they wanted us to succeed, but also wanted to push us a bit. Being totally done and having done as well as I had hoped was a total rush. Good thing, because I'm operating on about 4.5 hours of sleep today. (Thanks, in part, to going out with several of my classmates for drinks after arguments. Took longer than we thought since the place that had been pre-arranged by our legal writing dept. for everyone to meet was way too loud and hot and smokey for us to actually talk to each other, which is what we really wanted to do, so we had to walk to a different place. How could we recount our war stories if we couldn't hear each other? Then, on the way home, I remembered to pick up milk like I was supposed to, and added some "Thank-you-for-sacrificing-yet-another-night-to-law-school flowers, for my wife.)

My spouse, one of the few people, it seems, who has not heard my argument - mostly due to lack of time spent together- was waiting up for me when I got home, and was happy to share in my excitement in recounting the evening. Hers, filled with getting cranky kids to bed, was not nearly as entertaining as mine, and I know that is the case with much of our lives these days. She has the day-to-day routine with the kids while I am off interacting with the working world and world of new knowledge, classmates, and mysteries of the law. I will follow Hada's example here and say thank you to her, and to all of our significant other's who are putting up with us law students. We know it is not easy. THANK YOU!!

So, one class done, three more to go! Now the craziness of serious studying really begins. We sure don't get to ride the high of being done with orals for long, do we?
Hang on tight, here we go!!!!!!!!!!

Inappropriate Comment at the Coffee Pot

Excuse me? Did my supervisor really just tell me to add more beans to the coffee grinder while I was in the process of making coffee, primarily for myself? Making coffee in the kitchen at work is not a hierarchical thing, for the most part (other than the dean does not make it, claiming she doesn’t make it very good. Right. Lame excuse.) There are three of us that tend to make a pot of coffee for anyone that wants it – and it is based on when you get to work and how much you want coffee. Many mornings, it seems like too much effort for me and I’ll wait until 9:00 or so to get a cup after someone else has made it. I arrive at work prior to 7:00 though, and some mornings, like today, I am so tired I need something to get me going, plus I figure I should take a turn from time to time. Today, partly because it is so freaking cold outside, coffee seems like the perfect remedy to this sleepy morning. (Did we cover THAT remedy in contracts?)

Back to my original question – as I was putting the bag of beans away, did my supervisor really say – “fill it up to here” and indicate with her finger how high I should fill the grinder? Now – I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, “Even the dean thinks you make it way too strong,” or, “We aren’t really supposed to fill it so full that we end up with coffee grounds in the coffee,” or even, “Excuse me?” with the proper inflection. What did I say? Nothing. Too shocked. Too tired. I would say she should not expect there to be a pot already made when she arrives shortly after I do for quite some time. I can drink tea. Don’t like the way I make it? Make it yourself. Oh, right, then I have to drink it. (It’s not so bad as long as you dilute with hot water.)

Yes, afraid that this is the most interesting thing happening in my life as of 7:30 this morning. I am not, do you hear me, I mean it, thinking about my oral argument that is tomorrow night. (Any of you out there recognize the first part of that sentence? Isn’t Judith Viorst wonderful? Did you know she is over 70 and her real life sons, Nick and Anthony are both lawyers? Alexander does community development lending for a bank. - Wikipedia.com and SimonSays.com)

Coke Blak

After months of anticipation of the eutopian blend of Coke and Coffee, I have just finished my first Coke Blak. Thank you, Jen, for the heads up all these months ago, and the frequent teasers along the way. It was well-worth the wait. What's not to love, though, right? Coke plus coffee. Easy win. Smooth, sweet, bubbly. All that's missing is the chocolate and it would be the perfect food.

It is over-priced. Regular price is $6.00 for four 8 oz, stylish bottles. Safeway Club Card price through today only is $2.00 for 4! Score. I bought the limit of four. Hadas, Jen, if you've not yet rushed to Safeway after work, there will be bottles with your names on them before class :)

OK - I'm off to find out about the way the big firms hire in the fall for the next summer. Crazy!

Law 101 for Pre-Schoolers

My son will be 4-years old this Friday. Wow. Hard to believe he is getting to be such a big boy, but he is. He's quite interested in studying and my law school books. On Saturday while I was studying at my Mom's house (way easier than at my own house where said 4-year-old and his 1-year-old sister would constantly interrupt me), he called me. He said he was reading my school books that I'd left behind.

"Are they interesting?"

"Yes."

I was fascinated that he found these pictureless books interesting, but OK.

Then yesterday, he picks up my Contracts and Torts textbooks, carries them into the living room and declares that he wants me to tell him what they are all about. I sit next to him on the couch.

I start with Torts.

"This book is about how if you hit someone you can get into big trouble. Or, if you walk into someone else's yard and damage their stuff, you'll get in trouble."

That seemed to satisfy him. He moved onto the pretty red Contracts book, by Prof. Blum, who I am fortunate enough to have as my teacher, as well. (To all you other students using this book throughout the country - Prof. Blum speaks just as he writes and is an excellent teacher.) My son wants to know what this book is about.

"It's about how if you make a deal with someone, you have to keep up your end of the deal, or you will get in trouble."

"Like, if you promise to take me to the mall and you don't?"
(He totally came up with this on his own.)

"Yes, especially if we had our deal in writing. If I promised to take you to the mall and I did not, I'd be in trouble."

That was it. Torts and Contracts done in less than two minutes. If only our classes were this easy!

It's Done

You know the part of Rent (the musical) - the 1996 version - where about three different people say, "It's over," all in different contexts about different subjects? The last one, as I recall, is Benny referring to Angel's battle with AIDS. Somehow, that phrase accurately reflects how I feel right now. "It's over." Last night, at 9:40, when I closed my laptop, the nearly-final version of our brief having been sent to my partner for a last review, I felt elated. Today, after some last minute printing challenges, it's merely exhaustion. (Why the h*ll is it on print preview, but won't print on the hard copy?) I guess that could have something to do with the fact I've been dealing with this stupid cold for getting close to two weeks now, and the last couple of nights not getting nearly enough sleep for mostly child-related reasons. At any rate, those things, combined with the HUGE relief of our appellate brief being out of our hands and at the copy shop, have left me wiped out.

Any ideas for how to stay awake during Contracts tonight?

Good luck to all of my classmates. I hope you already are, or are soon-to-be, done with your brief, too!

News in Brief

Ha! In my twisted state of mind, I find that rather amusing. Any of my classmates will probably at least know why, if not be slightly amused themselves. The real point: Our appellate brief is almost done! Very exciting stuff! Sure, there's still some stuff (that is the legal term, I am sure) to do, but the light is there, at the end of the tunnel, beckoning us forward. Yippee!

I thought I had more to say. I was wrong. Instead, I have a bus to catch.

Wow. That's entertainment, eh folks?

More Frightening than Young Lawyers

I mentioned a week or so ago that I was amazed that 24-year-olds will soon be released into the world as lawyers. Today, I found something more frightening.

I work on the campus of a major teaching hospital and university. Today I attended a Grand Rounds lecture on psychiatric consultations with attorneys on criminal cases. It was quite interesting, and the case highlighted was a death penalty case where attorneys came to psychiatrists for consultation prior to and during the sentencing phase of trial. The defendant's family had suffered horrible tragedies at the hands of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, and as a young child, so had he. There was a lot of evidence presented about abuse, low IQ, lack of proper parenting, poor language skills....etc. The psychiatrist was visibly impressed with what a wonderful job the attorneys had done at illustrating their client's history during trial and said that their level of detail was actually better than most medical reports. As a result, the client received life with no possibility of parole instead of the death penalty. What influenced the jury the most? The main items they pointed to were the horrors the family had suffered and the fact that they'd already had 5 children executed by the Khmer Rouge. This was a wonderful illustration of the powers of persuasion that we are learning about.

Another interesting note is that the speaker said he found attorneys who have sought him out for consultations are often more easy to work with and understand the nuances of cultural issues better than most medical personnel with whom he works. Interesting what that says about our respective fiels of medicine and law.

So, my actual point in all of this?
There were a lot of medical students at this presentation - students who already are treating patients. Some of them could not have been a day over 24. Now THAT is frightening.

What's My Pizza Personality?
(Seemed really important for me to know.)

Everything Pizza

Diverse and adaptable You enjoy the full buffet of life It's hard to you play favorites with friends... or flavors There's very little that you dislike!

What's Your Pizza Personality?

How Evil Am I?

You Are 14% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Law School Prison Blues

Law school friends - you must check out Mother in Law's blog of March 14 for a great parody on Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues.

Enjoy!

Ewwww...need a shower now.

I just got done reading a posting from a fellow law student who found my blog, and so, I found hers.

If you are a member of the religious right or big fan of Jerry Falwell, well, not quite sure how you got to my blog in the first place, but let's just say that you won't be humored by the fact that I loved this post, despite it giving me the heebies:

http://zuskalaw.blogspot.com/2006/03/flip-flop-john-kerry-has-nothing-on-me.html

Happy Thursday!

A Frightening Reality


They let 24-year-olds be lawyers.
Really.
I just read a 24-year-old's blog and she's ordered her cap and gown.

Now, before you start in on me being some kind of age bigot, let me just say, that I bet most 24 year-olds about to graduate from law school are 1) really smart and 2) just as amazed as I am that they are about to be let loose as attorneys in the real world (after passing the dreaded bar, of course). I will likely be amazed when they let me loose, as well. (I'll beat my smartass classmates to the punch and say, "I know, you will be amazed, too.)

My Paper is Done and Other Random Thoughts

WAHOO - The Argument section of my Appellate Brief is done! This is really no major revelation or accomplishment, as it is due in about 3 hours, but still, I feel relieved to have it out of my hands until tomorrow when I go over it with our prof.

Next, practice Oral Argument on Friday. I am very mixed about this. My public speaking ability has gone downhill since the days when it used to be something at which I was quite good, and actually kind of liked. Guess that means the ability really is still there, it is just in a weakened state from lack of use, not unlike many of the muscles of my body. So far, my public expression in class, except when adding a bit of levity to the situation, has been less than impressive. So, four days before practice, and about a month before the "real thing" downtown.

OK - next random thought - a revelation of sorts:
If Barry Manilow did 80's rock, he'd sound a lot like the lead singer in 38 Special. I know - that's weird. I can explain how I got there, but I won't, but I bet the next time you hear, "Hold on Loosely," you'll think of Barry.

Another? OK.
You know when you are driving and you go a distance without consciously remembering doing it? I had a prof when I was an undergrad who explained that our subconscious mind takes care of us in such situations while our conscious mind is occupied with more important things, like wondering what we are going to make for dinner, or if we turned off the oven, or in his case, grading papers. (I kid you not. He READ OUR PAPERS while driving.) Anyway, so I was thinking this morning on my way to work, how did I know that I wasn't just killed in an accident and just believed I was still going about my merry way to work? My answer: If I was dead and my mind was just making up all this stuff, I would undoubtedly leave out the mundane details, like waiting for the bus, deleting my junk mail..etc. I am not detail-oriented enough to bother retaining trivial detail, clear down to walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and saying hi to someone I barely know. So, when I go to class tonight, assuming nothing happens between now and then, I will be alive, despite my quiet demeanor.

That is clearly enough for one day.

Reality on a Unicycle

Why is it that the majority of people, yours truly included, will conform with whatever norms society has set and live as if that is what life is supposed to be? That is really more rhetorical than anything. I imagine there are a myriad of psychological and sociological answers, including, it’s easy, provides public acceptance, blah, blah, blah. What if we didn’t buy the myth so readily?

I’ll start with something very common – work meetings.

What if everyone was really honest and said what was on their minds?

“I hate these things. I hate these people. I hate mornings. I should have had more coffee. Who’s bringing the coffee?”

“Brent’s tie is hideous, not unlike that report he sent out yesterday. What the hell was that?”

“We’d save a lot of time if we just make up the numbers. After we’re done crunching and managing, that’s all we’ve done anyway.”

“You just let me know when you are going to say something I should really be listening to.”

“She’s hot. I want to have sex with her, as long as she doesn’t talk. Talking would totally ruin it.”

OK, so maybe those are good reasons for conforming.

Seriously, though, how severely do we limit our experiences and the potential of our lives by buying into society’s norms, or even the laws of the physical universe? Can I break those? If I stop believing in gravity, will it stop believing in me? How much must we pass along to our children so that they can be a "success" in the "real world" and how much should we allow their own free spirits to soar? What if I wasn’t raised to believe that it’s desirable to get a good education, so I can get a “good” job, so I can buy a house, settle down, and raise a family? Whose fairy tale is that? What if I’d been raised to believe the most important thing in the world was being able to ride a unicycle everywhere I go, and that was the focus of my life? Happiness would depend on being able to navigate stairs while bouncing and balancing on one wheel. Hmmm...maybe not so very different from my life now, after all.

Oregon Supreme Court in Action

You know those moments when you are in a situation but observing it, too? (Hadas will appreciate this post.) Standing in line, waiting to enter the Supreme Court / classroom today I had one of those moments. The Oregon Supreme Court held court on our campus today. Students, especially 1L's, were encouraged to attend. As I waited in line with many other students, hoping for a seat in the court room, rather than in the overflow area, I watched people and tried to figure out their reason for attending - some seemed to look at it as a just a good reason to skip regular classes with potential for socializing pre-and post-game. Others seemed quite serious, maybe hoping to someday be one of the attorneys arguing before the Court. Others, like me, were most likely in the middle somewhere. Most were dressed casually, but a few, particularly the "door guards" were dressed up. (Funny how some people "look" like lawyers and some just don't, even when dressed up.I know, I've been poisoned by too many media stereo-types.) Still, hanging out, looking at the crowd, it was strange to think that some day most of these people would be attorneys, all with different motivations, thoughts on life, and belief systems. I also realized that some will realize this is so not the profession for them. Interesting.

More interesting was being in the courtroom and realizing how easy it would be to do something inappropriate - like start asking questions out loud, or talking to my neighbor, or something...and I realize that I often have these thoughts in public arenas. (Though this one varied in that it did not occur to me to yell "fire," as it often does.) This would be a really bad way to start a career, and would probably actually end it before it ever really begins. Guess it is good I have impulse control. I then thought about the attorneys and Justices all joining in on a musical number (thank you, Hadas) and before I got far on that I was actually sucked into the details of the case, all thoughts of inappropriate behavior gone.

Witnessing the Oregon Supreme Court in action was interesting and highly recommended, especially if you are a law student. It's always nice to see what we are learning about in practice. I'm glad we had the opportunity presented to us in such a convenient manner.

Wow. I just reread this. How non-entertaining can I get? Quite, apparently. Still, it's written and I am going to subject my dear readers to it, because at least it is a post, and as was noted during February, I sometimes do not update frequently enough. So there.

This is SO COOL:

There is this website business that will robot your website (or blog!) and make up a "word cloud" based on it. They then offer to sell you a T-shirt with the image on it. They do other cool things, too that I will have to go back and read about.

Check 'em out: http://www.snapshirts.com/custom.php

I started to order one of these shirts for my partner, based on her web site, but she has so many, figured it was a personal thing that she'd probably prefer to decide for herself. (Sorry, babe.) Besides, maybe she doesn't want people reading the fine print on her chest, as I, apparently, do *grin*. OK, well, I haven't ordered one yet, but I might! I really got a kick out of seeing the words that are so relevant to my life right now. Made me laugh to see "appellate" on there, actually "appellate argument." The word combinations are quite remarkable. By the way, if you aren't impressed with the first cloud, you can go back and try again, they seem to change a bit each time.

Thanks to LawMom for the link :)

Baby Girl is Fine!

We are still awaiting official word tomorrow from the doc, but the echocardiogram technician said she did not see anything abnormal at all. That is exactly what the doc was expecting. So, we are breathing very heavy sighs of relief and thanking God that our baby is healthy!

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. This parenting thing is stressful!

The L Word Commentary

It's been quite some time since I mentioned The L Word, but trust me, it is not due to lack of interest. My partner and I eagerly anticipate and enjoy every quirky, dramatic and sexy moment of each delicious episode. As I have mentioned before, what's not to love? Great stories, wonderful acting, and hot women. One caveat to the "wonderful acting" comment - that applies to when they leave the acting to the actors and not to the celebrity guests. Let's just say the powers that be have proven their point of why we should let actors act and not hire someone to play a part just because she is a "real lesbian." I'd way rather watch a straight actor convincingly play a lesbian, than witness the pain of a celebrity lesbian non-actor trying to act, and then the real actors trying to respond. Ouch. Not fun for anyone.

That was not my point today. Here is my point:

Shane, babe, I feel your pain. I too have been in the position of being "in the sh*thouse", to quote your phrase, because of a dream my partner had. In fact, there was a time that I believe I'd established residency. I've definitely been in hot water a time or two for my behavior in my partner's dream, and no amount of denying that I'd done anything was going to get me out of the trouble I was in. Women! However, unlike your situation, I did not bring on the trouble by my own indiscretion. You knew you were going to have to pay for that amazing night out by the pool, right?

Gotta love that The L Word writers often bring in these amazing, strange bits of life and relationships so their viewers can really relate. Even though on some levels, the show is not realistic, on others, it is so much like real life, none of us would be surprised to find Shane and Alice having a drink at the local coffee house while Bette and Tina have an almost discreet argument outside. Characters can often be as "out there" on some level as a writer wants, as long as they have a few characteristics that keep them grounded and relatable.

Oh, and apparently last night's episode reminded the wife that I've not done anything bad in her dreams lately. I was able to recify that situation last night.
I suspect the dog will need to scoot over to make room for me tonight.

OK, so where's the camera?

This is one of those "punk'd" things right? By "this" I mean, my life. Or really, "our lives" meaning my partner's and mine, but again, my blog, so I'll try to avoid the appearance of schizophrenia (see previous blog) and write in the first person.

Last week we had to take baby girl to the cardiologist because the doc detected a heard murmur. OK, kinda scary, but murmurs happen and are generally no big deal. Doc says, these appear to be two (yes, not just one, but two) classic innocent infant murmurs. Seems good so far, then it comes....BUT...(wait, there was not supposed to be a BUT)....the EKG indicates that the left side of her heart is larger than the right. She'll need an ultrasound to measure everything and rule out any problems. What? No! Doc says she feels confident this is nothing to worry about, but has to check just to be sure. Great, so now, we've spent the last 3 days not talking much about it while visions of worst-possible scenarios wind through our imaginations. (Again, slipped out of first person.) The test is Tuesday, but no one will talk to us about it until the next day, when hopefully it will be a simple, "no problem" phone call. What I am afraid of is the phone call that says we really need to come in to talk to the doc. Doc was so confident this is nothing that she did not even want to schedule a follow-up appointment since there would be no reason. Wish we'd just scheduled one right after the ultrasound so we'd have an answer right away. This is all too scary. Now, the fact that our daughter has always panted a bit when nursing and after activity suddenly seems not just like an odd quirk that her brother did not have, but instead a SIGN that something is horribly wrong. As my partner pointed out, she has always seemed so strong and healthy, this could not be anything serious. OK, I'll cling to that hope. Please God, let this be nothing.

That's enough to worry about, especially on top of general stress in the family and relationship because of my school schedule, oh, and then there is school itself, but then we get a call from Western Union last night saying someone overseas is trying to use one of my credit cards. Ends up this someone has not only my credit card number, but also the three digit code from the back of the card, and my previous two addresses going back about 10 years. Fortunately, the criminal did not have my current address, or the whole thing might never have appeared suspicious. Card has been cancelled and we only have to have an affidavit notarized disclaiming under $150 of charges, but we wonder if this person has gotten access to any other of our cards, or opened up new ones in my name with my ssn. Guess I have to have my credit reports pulled and see if there is anything suspicious on them. Great. Yes, I wanted one more thing to have to deal with right now. How the heck am I supposed to calm my mind enough to focus on writing the appellate brief that is due in a month? Sure, I sort of managed an outline, but that did not consist of ....oh...what is the term...."sentences"? TRAC? What is that? Crap.

OK, everything is going to be fine. We're going to pull out of this quarter in wonderful shape all around, and then we are going to Disneyland!

Seriously. We've booked the trip.

YIPPEE!!

Law School is Making Me Schizophrenic

(Or, as we discussed in Torts, is it really just bringing out a condition that would have eventually appeared anyway? Probably no matter since I signed up and paid the tuition, something tells me there will be no recovery on my part anyway.)

First, I will say, yes, I've been away for a while....sick kids, lots of school work to do, still am not where I'd like to be, but my head is above water, barely.

So, it feels like I have these three different lives, and sometimes I am able to happily function in all three independenly. That's when life is easiest. Other times, they insist on trying to co-mingle, and that's when it gets trickly. I've got my work and school personality. Confident, easy-going, low-stress, do what I need to do and move on. Personal life - more stressful since there is not enough time for wife and kids, they don't get what I do in school or what it's like (they could say the same about me, but this is my blog, so I get to say it), lots of rushing around, too much yelling, some very sweet times and laughter. Fantasy life - that's where I can go in my head where everything works according to my own script. I have all the time to do anything and everything I want to do. Money is not an issue. There are other elements to this I'll just leave to the reader's imagination, rather, MINE :).

Lately, I'd say the schizophrenia is being mainly caused by trying to maintain my personal life and my school life at the same time. The two are NOT playing nicely together. School me wants to learn all the stuff I need to learn, do all my homework, work on my outlines and read some supplemental materials so that I can make sense of Torts, where the professor seems to have stopped speaking English. Personal me needs to be with my kids who are missing me terribly and spend some time with and give a break to my wife, who is rapidly losing her mind due to being on-duty day and night with the little ones. (Try having your main source of conversation and daily interaction being a not-quite-four-year-old. Our son is very intelligent, but as I have to remember, preschool logic is not that of an adult, or even a 7-year-old. For instance, if a person was trying to pour water, or juice, from one container into another, and the receiving container started overflowing before the providing container was empty, one might expect that the pouring should stop. Not if you are a preschooler, evidently. Preschool logic dictates that pouring should not stop until the providing container has been emtpied of its contents. OK, then.)

All right, this was really started on Thursday and should have been posted then. It is now Monday morning. It's been a strange and stressful few days. I'm just going to call this good.

Happy Monday, folks.
-Dakota

The Guilt of an Evening Student

OK, so you want a taste of my life? Here's my partner's blog today (easily accessible over on the right):
-----------------------------------
...We have done 15 trillion activities but nothing for more than 5 minutes at a time. Let me tell you - that's a LOT of cleaning up and putting away.

I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm lonely (which is odd since I don't have 10 seconds to myself). I'm tired of hearing "MAMA!" screamed at me. I'm tired of hearing "I want a snack!" "MAAAAAMAAAAAA....you HAVE to!" "MAAAMAAAAAA....Come HERE!"

I'm tired of saying "Come here if you want to speak with me." "You just ate breakfast/lunch. You can have a snack in a couple hours." "Actually, I don't HAVE to do anything. I'm the parent."

And I'm so over the whining today. The fussing. The tears.

Have I mentioned lately that I haven't had a child-free moment to myself in weeks and weeks? Good thing nap time is coming.
---------------
What am I to do with this? Being a typical "man" (yes, I am a woman, but have been told that I often behave in a relationship as a man would), I want to solve this problem. Being a woman, I get to feel really guilty about it. I did "get us into this." In reality, there is nothing I can do. I am already more behind in class than I'd like. By that, I only mean that I am keeping up with the reading, but had no time for extras, and have not looked at the draft of my paper that needs lots of polish before Tuesday. I do not have time to come home and do chores, fix things, clean things, give my wife a break. I'd love to give her a break, but the reality is, if I do not devote tomorrow to school work, I will fall painfully behind. Sunday? Yes, on Sunday I can relieve her for a couple hours. Maybe it's time she take that night at The Heathman Lodge.

I know my wife balances her love of our children and her good fortune at being able to stay home with them with the need for a break and some time to herself.

I balance my desire/need for a law education with my responsibilities to my family now. Neither is a particularly enviable position.

Maybe if the sun would come out, this day would look brighter. Can you say Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Thanks to all

I just wanted to say thank you to all of my classmates, friends and complete strangers who have expressed their sympathy and support over our daughter's frightening event last week. Thank God, all remains normal at our house, and we pray this was a one-time occurence. We still do not know for sure what happened. We've discovered some babies have sort of a syndrome of a reflex of holding their breath when a shock or trauma happens. Hmmmm "holding their breath" sounds so voluntary and like something you would see happening and could stop it....it's not like that. It's more like they just stop breathing. Well, as I said, we don't know, and don't want it to happen again in order to find out.

Mieke, who recently commented on this blog, in case you ever drop by again, I wanted to wish you luck getting into law school. You have to believe, whether or not you get in, that things will work out the way they are meant to. I am in an evening progam with mostly over 30-somethings, and a majority of us have kids. Yes, I believe in many ways those of us with little kids have it harder than those without kids. In addition to worrying about school work, and for most of us, a full-time day job, we're worried about our kids, and feeling guilty, on some level, that we are not with them. We know what we are doing is best for the family in the long run, but on a day-to-day basis, it can be hard to face. If you get in, and going to law school is what you want and need to do, you will make it work. You'll find creative ways of connecting with your kids, and the time you do spend with them will be so precious. Good luck!

A good topic - the ways having a family while in law school can be the most difficult part. This would have been so much easier to do as an early-to-mid twenty-something with no real responsibilities or commitments, yet. How stupid was I? Hey - think I'll wait until I'm almost forty, married and have two kids. That will be easier! Guess I'm not smart enough for the day program, right Hadas? Thank God for the "dumbed down" evening program. (For those not recognizing it, this last part has been sarcasm. Look it up.) When it all comes down to it, we've all got our own challenges to face, no matter where we are in life, or what our circumstances. Guess we all just need to remember that and pass out a few words of support or a smile to fellow classmates whenever we can. Who knows, it won't hurt us, and we might even make someone's day a little brighter.

Don't know how I ended up there. I better get to work!

If Weak Appellate Brief is Written and There's No One Around to Read It, Does it Still Suck?

OK, so I finally have a decent draft done of our first appellate brief argument. I define "decent" here as meaning there are words that make up intelligible sentences filling up almost 4 pages and somewhere within them, were they to be finely honed, might be a scuplture of a fine argument, but right now, I fear, it is more in the rough stone stage.

This has been a frustrating exercise for me, as well as all of my fellow students I've spoken with about this project. We don't know what we are doing, how to approach it, or really what is expected of us. Our professor, not being an idiot, has probably designed the madness purposefully. Tonight's writing class should be interesting. We'll either find out we are almost on target, way off target, or we'll remain clueless. Have I covered the options fairly well?

Well, at least I can be happy that I have a draft to take to class, and still have two hours until the class begins. See, I did not push the limits of procrastination as far as I might have!

Finding my calling - getting a busy signal
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I was really put on this earth to do. For me, this is more of a practical question than a religious question, though I do not mean to imply practicality and spirituality are mutually exclusive. I suppose many of us traverse through life hoping to find the one thing that finally makes life CLICK into place. Thing is, I don’t think we can just hope to find it. I think for most of us, it is a treasure hunt that we must pursue with a virtual, if not actual, pirate ship, picks and shovels.

I have embarked upon this journey of education to become a lawyer. I have yet to discover the type of law I am most interested in, and that is one of my journeys without a map, and that is OK. I will get there. However, just “being a lawyer” is clearly not my calling. (This is where my partner freaks and yells, “What do you mean it’s not your calling? We’re not going $120K into debt for you to decide not to be a lawyer! *grin*) I think a lawyer is simply one facet of what I am meant to do, a piece of a more intricate puzzle. Maybe I will work for lesbian and gay rights, work to help animals, or who knows what when the pieces all come together.

I’ve found an interesting site: http://www.changingcourse.com/One among several of its sort, I am sure, that encourages people to find their true calling and live the life they dream of rather than settling for making a living and dreaming of having more. So, far, I’ve not purchased any of the author’s books yet, but the free newsletter archive and other info is really useful. It helps people, yes, even law students, to think outside the box.

See the kinds of things I think about when I should be working on the draft of our first persuasive paper that is due tomorrow? (Shout out to my classmate Hadas, who mentions being in a similar position as of early this morning.) Ah, procrastination as an art form...

Being a Mom is Terrifying.

We had a horrible scare Tuesday night. I got a call from my son saying something about blood and an ambulance had just arrived. (It ends up he was saying his sister turned blue; nothing about blood.) All is OK now. For details, see my partner's blog.

It was terrifying and horrible and THANK GOD all is good now. As I rushed to the clinic where my daughter was waiting to be seen (good that an ambulance was not needed), I realized this strange turn of events, which we were pretty sure was turning out OK, could mean the end of my second sememster of law school. Would there be long-term care and follow-up appointments needed? Could I catch up what I had missed? This meant I had now missed 2 of 3 nights of two different classes. Would I be able to focus and get engaged in the work? None of that really mattered. What mattered was that my daughter needed to be OK. Life and death situations sure have a way of smacking us into the reality of what is important.

We're holding our kids a little tighter and a little longer now. It's going to be a bit harder than it was not going home to them after work today, and for a while, I suspect. I sure hope, in the long run, this law school experience and the resultant degree, is worth all the sacrifices my whole family is making.

Grades are out!

Second semester has officially started and I have 2 of my 3 grades, and one “credit” in a credit/no credit class. Suffice it to say that I’m not where I would most like to be, but I did OK anyway. My partner thinks I even did quite well. I am apparently an “average law student.” How about that? I, like most law students, have never been average before, but hey, put us in a room full of over-achievers and suddenly the standard is very different. It’s OK though. I have to admit, I agree that my knowledge of the subjects was not exceptional and I did not earn an “A’s.” Considering my full-time work status, my wife and kids, the small amount of time I can actually devote to studying, “average” is not so bad. I am hopeful I can occasionally rise to the top in a subject, but if I can maintain “average” status and not fall below, I will be happy. It’s like the old joke goes...

“What do they call a guy who graduates at the bottom of his medical school class?”

“Doctor.”

Chances are, most of us are going to come out of this experience and end up as gainfully employed attorneys, if that is what we choose, so, no worries. Not yet.

Happy Second Semester, my fellow 1Ls.

What Peanuts Character Am I?


You are Snoopy! my friend you are totally relaxed
and stay calm in most situations. You are loved
by all... well almost everyone. the original
"Joe Cool"


what peanuts character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yup, sounds about right :)

Discover Your True Colors (Personality Quiz)

Have a few spare minutes? Here is a fun personality quiz. I do not know the person whose web site this is and cannot vouch for any of the materials presented on her site, or the quality of her book. I can, however, say I did the free quiz. It was fun, and nailed me pretty well.

I am a GREEN.

"I am conceptual. I have an investigative mind, intrigued by questions like, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" I am an independent thinker, a natural nonconformist, and live life by my own standards.

I like to do things that require vision, problem solving, strategy, ingenuity, design, and change. Once I have perfected an idea, I prefer to move on to a new challenge.

I value knowledge, intelligence, insight, and justice. I enjoy relationships with shared interests. I prefer to let my head rule my heart. I am cool, calm, and collected. I do not express my emotions easily."

Yup, that's me, all right.

Have fun!

Got Showtime!

Not wanting to be a scofflaw by asking someone to tape "The L Word" for me (seems like it would be illegal*, though really, it can act as free advertising and doubt it would be worth pursuing in court) we have ordered Showtime. Or rather, my dear, sweet wife has ordered it for us! (Thank you, honey!) Ah, who am I kidding? We did it for purely selfish, carnal reasons! $12 a month for 4 episodes - less than the price of a pizza - great use of our hard-earned money! I already feel as though I am making a significant contribution to society by supporting Showtime, the wonderful people who are allowing lesbians into our home on a regular basis. No, wait, that would be our dogs :)

So, the bad news of the day: Daughter, who turned 11-months old today, has a fever and is CRANKY. Wife is stressed that I will be back in school next Monday. Son has cabin fever since he's not been on an outing since Sunday, and now can't since his baby sister is sick.

The good news: I will soon be starting my second sememster of law school, meaning I successfully completed the first quarter. (Yes, grades TBD.) Even more exciting - we can now watch "The L Word" as new episodes air. Yippee!

Do you know I can take a legal class on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity? How interesting would that be? It all ties in...


*My very purely, non-legal opinion. No legal research was done in formation of this opinion.

The L-Word - Season 3

It has been pointed out to me that I have been terribly negligent about updating this blog. Apparently when a law student goes on vacation, this applies to more aspects of life than just school!

OK, so the hard part now is coming up with something interesting to discuss. Perhaps I could both rejoice and lament the start of Season 3 of “The L Word.” I am so excited for this season to be under way, but sad that we do not have Showtime. I would love to support Showtime for the ground-breaking work they are supporting, however, our budget does not allow for it. We supposedly have someone taping the show for us. I hope it works out! For my fellow L Word fans, check out Showtime’s web site for previews, deleted scenes, and more:
http://www.sho.com/site/lword/home.do

Did I forget to mention that “more” includes a Podcast interview with Kate Moennig (“Shane”)? (Last week’s was with Leisha Hailey. Highly entertaining.)

Hmmmm….according to Showtime’s website we could upgrade for $12, or less, per month. That’s a mere $3 per episode. THAT just might be a worthwhile investment! *grin* (By the time we pay someone for tapes or DVD’s and postage each week, or even once per month, we’d be ahead to subscribe…..hmmmm….C, seems I need our account number to check into this further. *heh-heh*)

OK, OK, you’ve forced the confession from me….I’M AN L-WORD-A-HOLIC! I’ve started watching Season 1 over again. I just can’t get enough. (Besides, since I’ve seen it once, I can now skip through all the monotonous Jenny-drama.) I think this speaks highly to the desperate need of us lesbians to see ourselves portrayed in a realistic and in-depth way on television. Not being a “California lesbian,” these may not be the “types” of lesbians I am used to seeing, but on some level, we’re all the same – all just people, doing the best we can, living our lives, loving, experiencing whatever comes next. The characters feel very real – a credit to Ilene Chaiken, her fabulous team of writers, and the wonderful (mostly straight) actors who portray them. Check out the “behind the scenes” interviews. Yes, OK, it helps that they are really HOT. I am sometimes remarkably shallow.

Secrets of the Universe?

Ever feel like you’re on the verge of a great discovery and have just one more clue to find before the secrets of the universe will be revealed? I feel like I am on the journey – so close, and yet, so far. There have been so many changes this year with the birth of our second child, the emerging of our son from a toddler to a little boy, and me going back to school. The challenges and joys of two children are greater than I ever imagined. For me, kids are like the something I never knew I needed, but did. They keep me balanced and sane, despite the insanity they create. They require that of me, to some degree. The challenges all of this has caused for my wife are ten-fold that of what I experience, but I will leave that for her to process in her own way and time.

I’ve just spent a wonderful Holiday with my family, and the days surrounding it with two good friends I have known since high school. In fact, one I have known since the 6th grade. In most ways, no one knows me better, or is more accepting of me than these two beautiful women. We have, at times, been separated for months and even years, and yet, each time we come together, the years fall away and we are simply ourselves comfortable in the bond forged years ago. After spending time with them, I always feel more grounded and sure of who I am and where I am going. In being accountable to those who have known me for so long, I am forced to be as true to myself as possible. Especially as the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on my decisions and actions of the past and wondering if I am where I am supposed to be. We all have dreams in high school of how our lives will turn out, and few of them tend to come true exactly, and in many ways, this really is best. I am happy to know I can look back, and at each juncture know that I did what I thought was best for me at the time. It doesn’t mean all has turned out as I’d hoped, or that I made no mistakes, but I can say, I have been true, have not sold out, and not compromised values that turned me into someone who I am not. That is a type of success, for certain.

I never thought I’d be going back to school, particularly law school, at almost 40. I never thought Id’ be accumulating the debt I am in order to do so, and yet, here I am. That is a little frightening, and yet overall, as for going to law school, I still think, “How cool is this?” It feels right, and I have to trust it is.

Still, attending law school also forces me to confront some big issues. It is such an “academic/intellectual” field that I find myself more and more drawn towards the arts for balance. I look towards my lifelong aspiration of being a writer. I’ve done some writing, completed a novel, a screenplay and nearly completed another novel, yet I am not published (thanks to the freak publisher I got involved with who did not fulfill my contract – probably a good thing, in retrospect). That is still something I want to do – to be a well-known, published author. Maybe I will be the next John Grisham :) More and more, the theme of my life that is emerging is balance. It is about balancing the elements that I know are important, those that I want to be important, and those that I still need to discover are important. Maybe that is what we are all doing.

What a wonderful Christmas we had! The family got up early to rush to the living room to see what Santa had left for us. At our house, Santa leaves one gift for each child, and fills everyone's stockings with goodies both edible and non-edible. What fun to have Christmas with a 3-year old! Such pure joy! The first thing he saw was the colorful present Santa left for his baby sister. He pulled it out from under the tree and said, "This is for you!" She barely woke up to acknowledge that something was happening, and then the boy was on to his remote-control car and bike. (Santa left him two presents this year, since they were thematically related.) He actually got tired of opening presents after opening his stocking presents and about two others, and said it was OK to wait until later to open the others. We were shocked, but happy to be able to go at a slow pace and just enjoy the toys that had been opened. The last present was opened 27 hours after the first. Not bad :) We enjoyed visits and meals with relatives, opened more presents for the kids, and had a packed, but good, day. The day after Christmas was also spent visiting with family and friends, enjoying good food, including the best pizza in town (Thank you, B.), and playing with new toys. Great times - great days!

I am now at work for 1 day and then have the rest of the week off! Today I've been enjoying one of my Christmas presents, Melissa Etheridge's Greatest Hits/The Road Less Traveled . I absolutely LOVE it. No denying it, Melissa Rocks! I recently found out that my best friend's husband has a thing for Melissa. After seeing her recent video, "Refugee", which can be viewed from her webpage, I can't even imagine anyone, gay/straight/male/female NOT having a thing for her :) It is my desire to be that hot at 44. Wow. (Note: The video is not overtly sexual in any way, it is Melissa's beauty, movements, voice and energy of the music that make her really irrestistable.)

I believe I mentioned I'd be sharing some good tequila with an old friend (or was that old tequila with a good friend?). I did. The 1800 Anejo she brought over was amazing. So amazing, in fact, that we were "forced" to drink too much of it. *grin* Tequila has always been somewhat of a mysterious temptation for me, and I've located a great site with lots of tequila facts and myths. Fun to browse for a while. Good tequila, good friends, good food. Great night. Merry Christmas to us!

There may be another post happening today, but for now, lunch!

Just two more short hours at work and I’m outta here! I can’t believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve! This season, not to mention this year, has flown by! I’m looking forward to Christmas morning with the kids. Our boy is going to be so excited! My partner will be excited, too! As I mentioned previously, she’s getting a kick-ass Christmas present…plus a few other decent ones :) The baby girl? Well, she’ll probably be overwhelmed, as the Boy was on his first Christmas, but she’ll enjoy the activity and eating Christmas paper – yum!

Tonight I’ll be having my “end of the semester” drink(s) with the previously mentioned friend from high school who is also a student again. She’s bringing over “the good tequila”. *grin* I’ll have to remember to go easy – got kids and a wife to think of, plus don’t want to feel crappy tomorrow. Still, a toast to our accomplishments and in celebration of the Holidays will be good.

Odd how alcohol and the Holidays seem to go together. I was talking with a co-worker this morning and he said that Christmas is definitely the biggest alcohol-buying time of the year for his family. He’s not very fond of the family members who imbibe the most, so will probably not be drinking. Makes me wonder why people drink so much this time of year – to celebrate, to forget, to just get through? For some, I think the act of sharing a drink with friends and family truly is a ritual, if not exactly religious, as least almost sacred. For others, it may be a way of tolerating annoying relatives. For hopefully a minority, it’s just another excuse to get drunk. Such extremes. Guess everyone has their own reasons. I’ll be hoping people remember to stay safe, drink responsibly and stay off the road!

So, as we eagerly await our visit from St. Nick, we’ll be spending time with family and friends, and remembering what life was like before law school! At least 2 hours at the end of the day with the kids asleep now seems like a luxury! Just another fringe benefit of going back to school…

Oh - check out the great digital scrapbook pages my wife has done in just the short week since her birthday! What fun!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!

Wahoo! I made it through my first semester of law school! Naturally, everyone keeps asking, “How did you do?” and the real answer is that I won’t know until...well, I don’t know when. I’m assuming mid-January or so. There’s nothing I can do about it now, so no point in worrying about it. I felt good about my performance and don’t think there is anything I wish I’d done differently given my current information. Guess if I really blew my finals, I’ll have to rethink that statement - and my study methods!

Sometimes, I am still amazed that I am in law school. I like that feeling of wonder and respect for where I am in my life. For so many years it would have been much easier to go back to school, but I really did not have the interest or motivation. Now that I have the interest, and am perhaps motivated by the fact that I have a family and that I am rapidly approaching 40, it is less convenient than ever before. Ironic, isn’t it? Things come together, or fall apart, for a reason, and at the time that is meant to be, so I don’t question it too much. It’s kind of like being on a ride and just enjoying it, but at the same time, I know to a great extent, I am in charge of the ride and my ultimate destination. OR – MAYBE I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF MY ULTIMATE DESTINATION. What’s really at work here, free will – or something else? I don’t know, and it doesn’t even matter much right now. (Hmmm....is that a symptom of a brain-dead law student?)

I am enjoying spending time with my family. I just had three days off with no work and no school, then a “snow day” stuck at home, making it 4 days in a row that I was home with my wife and kids. It was so nice to have both kids asleep by 8:30 last night and to be at home. We watched a movie, mostly uninterrupted, other than my partner having to nurse the baby back to sleep a couple times. Poor baby is getting in her two top teeth and it seems to be quite painful. I am happy that as adults we do not remember the pain!

I have a feeling I will be at a bit of a loss trying to slow my life down after the Holidays. Right now, it is already slowing down, but we have the excitement of Christmas approaching, and needing to get last minute things done, wrapping, all of that stuff. Next week, I have most of the week off; we’ll do family stuff with my partner’s family, then back to work for two weeks before school starts again. I know the time will fly by...but still...anticipate the “let down” as I do not have to be “on top of my game.” I admit, that it is even harder work to be at home taking care of two little kids. Perhaps "slowing down" is not the correct term. Maybe mentally slowing down? I have the easy task of going to work and school and only being “mommy” part-time. What is really unfair to my partner is that even though she takes on the brunt of the childrearing responsibilities, I get to be the “fun mom” that the kids want to spend time with. Right now, she’s mostly OK with it, as it is allowing her lots of time to play with her new digital scrapbooking program that she got for her birthday (Happy Birthday, Honey!), but when we are out and about, it’s not that much fun for her when the kids just want me.

I see I am rambling. I will stop here with one last thought, “We made it through the first semester!!”

First final of 1L down, 2 more to go!

Wahoo! We've made it this far. Completed a full semester of law school and seem to have suffered no major damage. Civ Pro final went well, I think. Guess I won't know for sure until next month sometime. At any rate, I had answers that seemed in the realm of correctness and didn't panic, or draw a blank or anything like that. First real test since high school. I went to the Evergreen State College for my undergraduate education - no tests, no grades. Emphasis actually was on learning - we just didn't have to spit the knowledge back out in exam form. I can see there was value in me having to study for the last couple weeks, and outline throughout the semester. I probably would not have solidified my knowledge nearly as well if there had not been a final to prepare for. Hmmm....guess there is something to testing. I'm not saying I'm suddenly an advocate for traditional testing methods, just that I can see there is value on both sides of the debate...or maybe I should say...all around the debate since I'm sure this is more than a two-sided issue.

Contracts Wednesday.

Con Law Thursday.

Then one whole month off with the family! Happy Holidays!

Little Revelations from a Law Student...

1) I was informed by my wife that the FRCP quiz from the prior post was not particularly funny, though she conceded that maybe it would be to a law student. I am still pretty sure if I went back and took it again, I would be laughing. Again, I've not had enough sleep. Guess it will have to be enough. Civ Pro final is in 3 hours! Bring it on!

2) I was informed by my best friend since high school that we need to get together drink once finals are over. She is also an insane adult returnee to the upper educational system. (I hope I am able to form such eloquent sentences later this evening.) This proves that no matter what age you are, the need to cut loose after finals is still the same.

3) I was informed by a friend/classmate that I am a smartass. I am quite sure the informers of topics #1 & 2 would agree.

4) Same friend/classmate warned of letting my mind drift in the midst of our Contracts final and creating my own hypos containing offer, acceptance and consideration based on the behavior of the women of the L Word. As a generalization, I'd say there are many implied, if not express, offers; acceptance by performance; and as consideration...well, not so sure there are many mutually negotiated exchanges of legal detriments.....therefore, no enforceable contracts. Now, were we to consider Promissory Estoppel, that might be a different matter.

OK, OK, clearly I am tired and am only amusing myself. Though I may slightly amuse at least one other 1L. If so, my work here is done.

I am off! (As, I am sure, all of the aforementioned parties would agree!)

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Am I?

OK - I laughed out loud while taking this fun, little quiz. That goes to show you I am WAY too tired to even attempt studying, which is exactly how most of the rest of my day must be spent. Does anyone else hear that sound? It is the sound of hysterical laugher. I'm not sure where it is coming from....

Go ahead all you other law student types, take the FRCP challenge:

YOU ARE RULE 8(a)!

You are Rule 8, the most laid back of all the
Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. While your
forefather in the Federal Rules may have been a
stickler for details and particularity, you
have clearly rebelled by being pleasant and
easy-going. Rule 8 only requires that a
plaintiff provide a short and plain statement
of a claim on which a court can grant relief.
While there is much to be lauded in your
approach, your good nature sometimes gets you
in trouble, and you often have to rely on your
good friend, Rule 56, to bail you out.

Want to know the really funny part? This quiz nailed me!



Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What kind of Seducer are You?

Your Seduction Style: Sweet Talker

Your seduction technique can be summed up with "charm" You know that if you have the chance to talk to someone... Well, you won't be talking for long! ;-) You're great at telling potential lovers what they want to hear. Partially, because you're a great reflective listener and good at complementing. The other part of your formula? Focusing your conversation completely on the other person. Your "sweet talking" ways have taken you far in romance - and in life. You can finess your way through any difficult situation, with a smile on your face. Speeding tickets, job interviews... bring it on! You truly live a *charmed life*

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

OK, so I can't be a rock star. Whatever.

So, it's back to the books. Seems that I am not alone in my quest for "other things besides studying." One of my classmates admits to spending the time and energy this past weekend to shop for, wrap and mail presents to an old friend that she's not exchanged gifts with for 2 years. Odd how right before finals that was suddenly a priority. I believe she also said she spent a lot of time cleaning this weekend, too. I'm finding it hugely important to surf the internet, read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, purchase Post It Flags for marking up my FRCP book, and of course, do on-line shopping (Guess whose partner is getting awesome Christmas and Birthday presents?). Yesterday, while on some semi-legitimate search about lesbian/gay issues, a link on a page I was on said something like: Who Is Openly Gay? How could I not click to find out? Before I knew it, I'd found out that Angelia Jolie is bisexual, as is Drew Barrymore, Ellen's girlfriend, Portia de Rossi used to go out with Ringo Starr's stepdaughter, Francesca Gregorini, who was seen in April "canoodling" with Kate Moenning (Gay or not? It is said that it could have just been a rumor.) What exactly is canoodling?

canoodle: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition. 2000.
...ca·noo·dle (k-ndl)
v. ca·noo·dled, ca·noo·dling, ca·noo·dles Informal
v.intr.
To engage in caressing, petting, or lovemaking. (!)
v.tr.
To win over or convince by cajoling or flattering; wheedle: "his matchless ability to charm, bamboozle, or canoodle most of his political associates" (Timothy Garton Ash.)

Well, who wouldn't want to canoodle with Kate Moennig....or Francesca Gregorini, for that matter? Ah....we do want to believe that one is true, if only to verify that the hottest current lesbian sexual icon (and there have been so many of them) really is gay, or at least bi.

OK, well, as fun as this is, I best get on with my day. I have to find out if my friend was able to remove the mug that was superglued to the mahogany dashboard of her collectible jag...

Leaving to Become a Rock Star.

Hey – law school has been fun but I have decided to become a rock star instead of a lawyer. As I see it, the perks are way better: you can dress any way you’d like, become intoxicated while working and it is not only not frowned upon but actually expected, there are lots of groupies to carry your gear (when was the last time you saw an attorney’s groupies carrying her briefcase? Exactly.) and provide you with uh…”stress relief,” you can party all night and not have to get up early looking good for a client or judge, there are no finals, and no bar exam. As long as you are among the 1 in 1000 that make it big....the money is great. (Weren't those the odds of even getting into law school?) Also, you do not have to go $100K+ in debt to learn how to do it. Yep, I chose the wrong profession. Damn.

It has been pointed out by both my wife and a fellow law student seeking procrastination support that I have not updated my blog on a regular basis since serious prep for finals set in. Never fear – I am still here – and have been involved in a variety of non-school-related activities in order to assure that my own procrastination skills stay sharp! I have NOT spent all this away time studying. It is, after all, the Holiday, and I have shopping to consider. My wife’s Birthday is December 15th (right, Con Law final day). Best part about that is that it will be my last final. The Birthday present part is NOT going back to school after that night until January 16th. Wow – a whole month off! Sounds so decadent!

It will be strange to be back at home for a whole month. We all have our own new routines and ways of doing things, and this will definitely be a departure. My wife is used to being “queen” of the household with me not being around much, but when I am back home at 5:00 every night, I am fairly likely to disrupt her reign. Well, she probably won’t mind me coming home to cook dinner, give the kids their baths and generally make the “out of control” evening time more bearable. Hey – how about this one: instead of Wednesday being study day, it will be family day! There’s a treat. The kids other mom may want to take that opportunity to go out and have some alone time while I stay with the kids….or MAYBE, if I am feeling really brave…I will take the kids out somewhere and she can have the whole house to herself. It will be a good month, but it will go by fast, and then we’ll all have to get used to my school schedule again. Next semester, instead of getting out at 8:30 on two nights, it will be 9:00 instead. 9:00 on a Friday night? Whose bright idea was that? Ugh.

OK, well, as I this is not particularly entertaining, I am going to move along and consider blogging again later. Maybe I can think of some interesting stuff to write. I know that a fellow law student is hoping for some juicy stuff, and had hoped to find it last week in the story behind a deleted comment on this blog, but alas, it was only spam I had deleted. Let me see what I can come up with!

Have a Happy week! (Now get back to studying!)

What Kind of Superhero Are You?

Just a little fun on a cold and dreary Monday.

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 100% Spider-Man 55% Supergirl 45% Batman 40% Wonder Woman 25% Robin 20% The Flash 20% Hulk 0% Green Lantern 0% Catwoman 0% Iron Man 0%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...


Wow. I scored 100%. Pretty pure personality profile there. No combo, no borderline.
I am Superman. Cool. Flying Rocks!

Note of thanks to a fellow law school blogger for linking to this survey:
The Amazingly True Tales of a Naive Optimist

The L Word Withdrawal

Well, after spending the last week watching the second season of The L Word, my partner and I finished Season 2 last night. Like any good drama, it left me wanting more. Today I am in L Word withdrawal. How can I wait another year for Season 3 to come out on DVD? (As much as I would love to have and to support Showtime, we just can’t justify the cost. Especially considering our lack of available tv watching time.) A whole year without Shane? *sigh* This sexy show has sucked me into the lives of these complex characters who irritate, fascinate, stimulate and now *poof* - it’s gone for another year. Perhaps we should have shown more restraint and only watched one episode a week. Right. It kind of reminds me of the Neil Simon play, “Same Time Next Year.” Our affair with this show will continue next year at this time, assuming Season 3 is released in the fall, as was Season 2.

Ilene Chaiken, creator and executive producer of the show, is my new hero. There is a very good interview with her on Planet Out, done near the end of Season One. (Follow that link and there are great interviews and extras from the cast!) How much history is this woman making - or at least, helping to make? She basically says she is just telling her stories. She knew the time was ripe for people to see the lives of lesbians portrayed on tv. (Legal types - cite is from interview link above. If I were more obsessive I get out my ALWD manual and figure out the format, but I'm not.) The fact it was picked up for a second season after only the second show is a testament to the truth of that. Third Season was picked up very quickly, too. Don't recall specifics.

OK, I clearly have a Legal Writing paper due. Two blogs in one day. Can you say “procrastination”?

Balance
We hear a lot of talk about balance – especially those of us that are women. (I imagine this is because our society tends validate and perpetuate men being less “in balance.”) Advice, thoughts, books, articles, law school professors – we are surrounded by the topic of balancing career, family, health, free time, and whatever else we may be juggling. There are even seminars on how female attorneys can balance career goals with family. This is good and (hopefully) useful. We need this kind of help, and validation that it is hard, and not something that has been done for centuries, or even decades, with such success that we must be incompetent for even feeling stress about balance. Women have traditionally been the nurturers and there is probably something basic to female chemistry or essence that encourages that behavior. Toss in wanting or needing to be the breadwinners, too, and it does throw individuals and society off balance. Academics far more versed than I have written thoroughly on this topic, so that’s not even where I am going.

What I want to point out is another item to throw onto the balance scale – choosing a specialty within our chosen careers that is somehow in harmony with who we are as individuals. Let’s say a law student must decide on whether to aim towards corporate law, prosecution, criminal defense, or environmental law. Maybe the fields that would most likely pay back the student loans are not what would give the person the most satisfaction as a career. OK, so the person decides to do what will pay the bills and do pro bono work, too…..all of a sudden *BAM*….what happened to the balance? No more time for family, eating right or working out. I know, gross oversimplification for the sake of brevity, but I think the point is clear anyway. Somehow, all of us, within the field of law or not, struggle to find a balance between how we make our living, how we live, and how our life intersects with the lives of others. For some, work and play and values are so interrelated that it really does create a well-balanced life. That’s where I want to live.

Confessions of an L-Word Junkie:

OK, Ladies, it’s out and we have it – “The L Word: Season 2”.
So far, we’ve only made it through episode 3, but that’s only due to lack of time, not lack of interest. I was pretty sure we’d lost our minds when we didn’t shut the DVD player off until after 11:00 last night. (I get up at 5:00am, and my partner is awake on and off all night with the baby, and we'd gotten very little sleep the night before). Somehow, though, watching all those women (OK, yes, HOT women) validating our lives is totally worth it. Check ‘em out on line at: www.thelwordonline.com

I want to be Shane when I grow up. OK, so I’d have to start aging backwards. Let’s put it this way, I SHOULD have been Shane when I was younger. I get that she’s deeply lonely inside and doesn’t emotionally connect with any of her conquests, but she does have good friends and connects with them on some level. That means she’ll probably get to a mature relationship someday, but that’s not really what’s fascinating about Shane, is it? Funny, I want to BE Shane, but I am pretty sure my partner just wants to BE WITH Shane. Works, though, doesn’t it?

*sigh* All right, back to the reality of my life* - mom, wife, employee, student - when DO the women of "The L Word" find the time to hang out in bars and coffee houses, drinking, dancing, and doing it? Oh, right, no kids yet!

*Not that my life is something to escape from. I have a great life and great family, but we all could use a good fantasy now and then!

Rock On!

A little fun for a Friday afternoon.
Did a quiz, here's my results for
"What Kind of Rocker Are You?"

(Try it for yourself - link at bottom. Happy Friday!)

You Are a Punk Rocker!

When it comes to rock, you don't follow any rules. You know that rocking out is all about taking down the man. You've got an incredible stage presence and rock persona. You scare moms, make bad girls swoon, and live life on the edge!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Yup, That's me - livin' life on the edge! *grin*

Halloween Costumes!
OK, it didn't take much for reader, Dagny, to convince me to post a few pics of my kids in their costumes (Note: There are only two kids. They each have more than one costume!)

Halloween Hauntings

(Written quickly in a pause between classes on Halloween night. Cut and Pasted the next morning.)

Gosh, is there anything more powerful than Mommy-Guilt? I have been feeling horrible all night for not skipping classes and going trick-or-treating with my family. My son and I had a great time this past weekend doing pumpkin carving, face painting and having little Halloween parties. Still, I missed THE night. I missed seeing him in his costume. I missed the family fun. Plus all that, my partner had to do it all alone - kids into costumes, lugging them around to Grandma's, trick-or-treating in the dark, misty/rainy neighborhood…*sigh* Doing this all alone was not part of our bargain. I should have been there to help.

Still, a good time was had and my son was home by 7:00 with a tummy ache shortly thereafter. Once again, the hardest part about law school is not the academic challenge, but the emotional burden of the commitment. Go figure.

"This was your decision."

OK - this will be a short entry, but I just had to write it.
Last night before class, a friend and I were teasing each other about hearing from our partners unsypathetic variations of the phrase, "This was your decision." Both of us have supportive partners, but let's face it, being with a law student is no easy task. As I have mentioned before, our families bear additional burdens due to our student status, so it's not unreasonable that they sometimes have little sympathy for our self-imposed stress, lack of sleep, workload..etc.

As we were talking, a classmate starts laughing and says, "Oh my gosh, I hear that all the time!"

He says he was a wonderfully supportive wife. We all do - and part of that support seems to be reminding us that it was our choice to go to law school :)

I suspect only other law students will find this entry amusing.

(To my partner: I love you, honey!)

There must be a paper due......
because here I am writing a blog instead of going over the paper that I must hand in tonight. I think it is really close to being done. It is our second legal memo. We've been working on it for about a month and it's gotten to the point that I've read it so many times it no longer makes sense. Our prof. once used the phrase "total abomination" to describe the only reason a paper would be handed back to completely rewrite. While I don't think my paper quite fits that description, those words echo in my head and are much easier to understand than my discussion about a landowner's possible breach of duty to a juvenile delinquent who got hurt trying to destroy his property.

Funny how we all get hung up on certain parts of an assignment, sometimes to the exclusion of actually completing the assignment correctly. Recently much of our class handed in a less than complete assignment because they'd been so focused on one aspect of it that they did not hear the instructions about the full assignment. Our prof. took some of the blame and gave them an extension, but I find that the error is analogous to the entire paper - ha - and even life!

It is so easy to get hung up on an area we are having trouble with, or that is especially time-consuming, that we neglect the other pieces to the detriment of the whole. Guess that gets us right back to that "balance" message again......all parts of our life need attention, or the "whole" will suffer. We must make time for family, friends, fun, spirituality, eating right, sleeping (what is that??), while maintaining our law school career, and for many of us, a job or existing career. Big question - when? In my 8 weeks of wisdom of balancing all of this, my best answer at this point, is it doesn't all happen all the time, or even every week, but I think it can be "rotated in." One Saturday, you meet with friends for dinner, the next go to a movie with your partner, grab an hour on Sunday to read a book or watch some tv, take a few minutes to IM a friend every couple days. It's not life like it used to be, but it's still life!

The Stolen Weekend!
We had the best weekend - a totally spontaneous trip to the beach!

My Friday night legal writing class had been canceled, and I decided that my family needed to spend time with me more than I needed to go to my 7:00pm Civ Pro class (for just one night). We were all looking forward to our first Friday night together in 7 weeks. We'd probably grab a pizza and just enjoy our few extra hours together. It was a gorgeous day. Three people over the course of it told me they were heading to the coast for the weekend. As I pulled into our driveway at 3:00pm Friday afternoon I thought - WE could go to the coast, too. It was crazy. It would be expensive. It would be fun!

I raced into the house. All were napping except the dogs. I called the hotel we stayed in this summer. They had a room available. I couldn't book yet, as I'd not talked to my partner. I'd call back shortly. Soon, I peaked into the bedroom and saw my partner was awake.

"Wanna do something totally fun and irrresponsible?"
"Maybe."
"Wanna go to the beach for the weekend?"

We NEVER do anything this spontaneously - not before kids, and certainly not since. This normally would be WAY out of my partner's comfort zone. Not this time :)

Within 40 minutes of that conversation, we were packed and heading for the coast! Our son was really excited when he awoke from his nap to find us packing. He asked about every 10 minutes for the 2-hour drive how long it would be until we were at the beach. (2 hours there due to traffic - made it home in 90 minutes!)

Saturday was a wonderful, gorgeous, warm, fun day. We played, we all got along, no big conflicts or meltdowns. For more details and pictures - see my partner's blog.

We headed back fairly early Sunday morning so I could spend the afternoon doing the homework that I'd normally have done on Saturday. We decided that next time I should take my books and study late into the night. I personally think NOT studying was much more rejuvenating!

I already have two sets of notes for the CivPro class I missed, and though I know I can't make a habit out of it, I really believe this "stolen time" was exactly what our family needed this weekend.

Chalk one up for my attempt at "striking a balance" that we hear so much about.

What’s an evening student to do? Most of us work all day, go to school at night and the remainder of our time is spent trying to balance homework and family. Still, there are certain realities of law school and ultimate employment, and those realities have to do with our academic career beyond the grades. Books (and advisors, I presume, though I’ve not had time to talk to one) tell us that we need to get on a law review, go to seminars, volunteer for student groups or pro bono work. I personally am inundated with email every day with extracurricular options to gain useful advice from and schmooze with top attorneys, authors, judges, career experts, and others that will help me not only make a career decision, but perhaps assist in the invaluable process of networking. I would love to participate in at least half of these things. Pro bono work, of course! Work on a law review, sure! Those would be great experiences and would be super on a resume, but the reality is, there are four days a week that I already don’t see one of my kids. When exactly do I fit anything else in, and if I don’t, how do I compete with the (mostly day) students who have had plenty of time filling their time with useful law-related activities?

Sure, I already have a job in an area at least somewhat related to law. Holding down that job, maybe even excelling at it, while going to school will say something about the kind of person I am. OK, good. My grades will count for a lot, as I understand it. (I went to The Evergreen State College where we did not have grades, so this concept eludes me.) That I can work on, but being a first year and having very little idea of what exams will really be like, this area makes me nervous. (I know, join the club.)
What is the real expectation? Do they (you know, “Them”) expect that evening students compete in the same way as day students? How do employers evaluate one experience versus another? I guess that’s what it all comes down to – our experiences are just different. I’d love to be having the non-working or part-time working day-student experience, but that’s not the reality of my life. Maybe I can sneak in a bit of pro bono work or contribute something extracurricular here and there over the next four years (yes, evening is a 4-year program). If I do not, will it be the cause of my law career never even getting off the ground? Probably not, but I guess I should talk to an advisor about low time commitment projects that help build experience and resumes!

Appreciating the simple things:
Yesterday we spent a good part of the day doing fall clean-up in our back yard, and I have to say, it was quite enjoyable. The weather was cool and cloudy, but not rainy. My son and I started by letting the air and small bit of water out of his pool while we looked for bugs (mostly drowned spiders) and slugs. That was soon followed by playing with the worms that were found under the pool when we lifted it from the location it had been in all summer. Our boy managed to pick up his first large worm, usually preferring that I do it for him. It was a proud moment J

My partner and I stashed as many outdoor toys into the tree house/shed that we could, trimmed dead branches and even cleaned out the garage a bit, which we had to do to make room for the battery-powered Barbie car that had been in the backyard. It was nice working together, appreciating the joy my son was feeling on his bug and worm hunt, and seeing the results of our hard work. Our baby girl was out with us in her activity saucer for a little bit, but being confined, she was not enjoying herself nearly as much as she thinks she would have if we’d let her crawl around (and attempt to put every bit of nature she could in her mouth). Well, next year, I’m sure she’ll be out with the rest of us, dragging sticks around and playing with worms.

I did not manage to work on the legal memo outline that is due Tuesday unless pondering the fictional Mr. Potter’s possible breach of duty to infant trespassers while I was in the shower counts. I’m finding just how much time and thought must go into legal writing projects, and like all of my writing, I want this to be good, so naturally, I am procrastinating as much as possible. I seem to operate under the belief that the Great Gods of Writing will infuse my brain with wisdom and clarity if I let the project simmer long enough. It’s always worked before. We’ll see how that method works out for me now!

Why didn't I listen to my mother?
She told me when I was 18 that I should be a lawyer. I laughed and said something flip about not wanting to spend my life defending criminals. Too bad my viewpoint was so narrow then. If I had gone to law school when I was just out of college, I wouldn't be dealing with nearly the challenges I have now. Plus, maybe Mom would have been paying my way!

Now, it's 21 years later, I have a wife, 2 small children and a full time job. Four nights a week I only see my son for about an hour of the day, very late at night. I see my wife only slightly more than that, after the boy is asleep. I generally don't see my daughter awake at all those four nights. Two other days a week, I do homework until about 3:30, and then the evening is devoted to family time. The family misses me. My wife is going crazy being on duty all day and into the night. I miss them, too, and sometimes it's hard, keeping up the energy, doing the commute, handling the homework, doing the work work and most of it on not enough sleep. Still, as my wife points out, it was my choice and I am doing something I want to be doing. It was not her choice to become a single mom four nights a week and have her weekend cut down to one day.

From within me, I know I can handle this all and feel that I am doing the right thing. Overall I am happy with my life and with my decision to go to law school. Sure, there will be hard times, but life is full of challenges. When I broaden my perspective though, I get into those incredibly dangerous "shoulds". Should I be doing this to my family? I am missing out on so much of my kids' lives, not being the supportive partner my wife expected, and just generally am not there. The "for the greater good" argument is that someday this will all be worth it. By the time my kids are really involved in school activities or sports, I will be able to be around. In theory, I will be making more money to support my family (that is, as long as the job pays enough - I'll have those damn student loans to pay back). I'll be a shining example to my kids that we are all lifelong learners. I'll hopefully be doing good work in the world. I'll hopefully be happy in my career. Also, I will have gone to law school. Let's face it, there is something intrinsicly cool about that. Granted, the coolness does not outweight the $130K of student loans, but it is a nice perk :)Should I be doing this?

Please God (Goddess, Higher Power), let this all be worth it.